Gib Mir Noch Zeit
by J. Peterson
Summary: If she couldn't stop this vicious dance by pushing Shizuru away completely, then she really only had one other option. M-rated as of chapter 4.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**  
Mai HiME and all characters belong to Sunrise. No profit made, no copyright infringement intended.

**Author's Notes:**  
Gah! Oneshots are distracting! Damn plotbunnies; I'm not gonna get a thing done on my chaptered stories as long as new ideas keep popping up.

Title snagged from an old _Blümchen_ song that I'm still very fond of. Hop on over to YouTube and give it a listen – the music fits the mood of the story, and if you speak German, you'll probably find the lyrics pretty apt.

Thank you for reading.

**Gib Mir Noch Zeit**

* * *

_Goddamn festivals._

Solitary footsteps echoed off the walls of one of the many Fuuka Academy hallways, and the girl that was the source of them glanced around the otherwise deserted area with a relieved sigh. Crowds really weren't her thing, she privately admitted. If she hadn't spent the better part of her life in solitude, that might have been different, but as it was, she had little to gain from wondering about could-have-beens. Right now, she was just happy to have made it inside the academy buildings and away from the staggering number of guests milling around outside.

Natsuki shook her head and snorted at herself as she turned a corner. She could scarcely believe that she'd forgotten about the Summer Festival in the first place. It had certainly been the main subject of conversation within her little circle of friends for a while, and she'd come very close to giving Kanzaki a whole new meaning to Foot-in-Mouth Disease if he hadn't gotten Mai to shut up about it. Why did that slick bastard have to go and ask the redhead to it, anyway?

She shot a glance outside as she passed by a window, and watched the gently reddening sunlight paint the grounds and the visitors with its golden rays. "I hope it ends better for them this time," she muttered to herself.

Her fingers found purchase in the back pockets of her jeans, and she watched her sneakers touch onto the floor below her feet as she walked. It was strange to see this section of campus back in shape after knowing – unlike the majority of the academy's populace – exactly what had happened to it. Stone, steel and mortar had proven to be no match when pitted against violence born from sheer, desperate emotion, and she had been more than little surprised that Suzushiro Construction had managed to rebuild everything in just a few months.

It was almost eerie... to be walking these new halls that looked so much like the old ones. Almost like being caught in some sort of twisted time-warp.

The sound of rubber against linoleum stopped when she did, and she sighed softly as she moved her hands to her side pockets and leaned back against the wall.

_Student Council Room_

Amazing just how mocking a sign could seem, she considered as she fingered the silk in her hand. It was as if the black lettering was daring her to open the door and go inside... or was that challenge coming from somewhere inside her, instead? Was that, perhaps, why she'd ended up here in the first place?

The silk was tugged free from her pocket, and she held on to one end of the ribbon as it unfolded itself with gravity's helpful assistance. The kanji for her own name stared back at her from the surface of the lavender fabric, and she laid the smooth material over her palm and drew her thumb slowly across the neat, precise writing.

_Shizuru._

Unbidden, the mental image of the older girl penning her name on the wish ribbon popped into her head, and she bit her lip as she felt a stinging pang in her chest.

_Why me?_ She raised her head and stared at the door, remembering all the times that the two of them had met beyond it. _What did you see in me that made you feel so much?_

_How is it that you can find so much more in me than anyone else ever could?_

It would, of course, make sense to actually ask those questions out loud to the source of her confusion. It wasn't like she didn't have the chance to do so often enough, because although Shizuru was busy with her classes at the nearby university, the two of them always found some way to spend time together at least once a week. With the summer holidays coming up, she'd surely have even more chances.

But she just couldn't bring herself to ask. Shizuru was hurting enough as it was without having to indulge her insecurities.

And that was why she was here. Natsuki pocketed the ribbon and pushed away from the wall before taking the few, hesitant steps that moved her across the width of the hallway. She was tired of being afraid. Tired of flinching in unconscious reaction whenever the older girl touched her shoulder... tired of not daring to be alone with her... tired of keeping away from spots that had been theirs once.

Fear could last forever if you didn't deal with it. So maybe by doing this small thing... maybe this way she could start putting some of all that fear to rest.

She slid the door open, and froze in surprise.

"Shizuru?"

There was no response from the kimono-clad figure seated at the desk, and Natsuki quietly shut the door behind her after entering the room. She paused there, barely beyond the threshold, and rubbed her suddenly moist palms against her denim-covered thighs. The sound of her own breathing seemed loud all of a sudden, and she swallowed down a stab of nervousness and forced herself to take a step, then another and yet another... until she came to a stop in front of the desk.

_Asleep_, she realized as she took in the sight of her friend. Shizuru had her elbows resting on the surface of the table, and her interlaced fingers served to support her chin. As was often the case whenever the older girl was dressed in this more traditional manner, her hair had been pulled up, and as Natsuki watched, a single lock of wavy, tawny hair managed to free itself from its bindings and tumble down over one smooth cheek.

It was easier, she realized somewhat guiltily, to be this close and alone when Shizuru wasn't aware of it. When she didn't have to worry about inadvertently hurting her friend even more than she already had.

Quietly, she placed one palm against the smoothly polished surface of the table, careful not to jar the furniture and wake the other girl up as she leaned on that arm and reached out to tug the errant lock of hair back.

Her hand shook.

_Stop it!_ she scolded herself firmly when she saw the appendage hesitate. _Stop being afraid of her!_

Still, the hand drew back, and she swallowed down a defeated sigh as she set it down next to its mate instead. Why did it have to be so hard, she wondered as she watched her own fingers curl and press against the wood beneath them. Why couldn't she just be happy that Shizuru was accepting what she was offering? Why was every moment between them so stilted?

Was she really that afraid? That worried that Shizuru would... would what? Force herself on her?

_No._ The response resounded in her own head with startling clarity, and she felt her brow furrow as she studied Shizuru's face and saw the faint signs of tension that were visible now that the mask had slipped away. In repose, there were a few, subtle lines visible around the older girl's mouth and eyes. Those lines added a definite world-weariness to the otherwise youthful, calm face... made Shizuru look old beyond her years. Tired.

_My fault._

Her chest panged painfully again, and she instinctively covered the smarting area with one hand, dropping her head to watch her fingers clutch at the cotton of her t-shirt.

_Why are you still here?_ she silently asked of the sleeping girl. _Why are you putting yourself through this for my sake?_

A sigh as she straightened. _I just... don't understand you._

She made her way over to the window and gently popped it open. The warm breeze carried the scent of far-off rain to her nose, and she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes as she rested her hands on the sill.

_I don't understand how I can mean so much to you._

Shizuru loved her. Even before the Carnival, she'd known that much. But exactly how frighteningly deep that love ran was something she'd only recently started to understand. Forbidden or not, she was glad to know how the older girl felt, and wouldn't dream of holding it against her as long as she could still have Shizuru's friendship.

But was that really fair? Her teeth worried at her lower lip as she stared out across the grounds. On this side of the school, the scenery was pretty much void of people since the majority of the festival booths were set up on the other side of the building, but she could see a few stragglers walking around in the reddening sunlight of approaching dusk.

For a few seconds, the sight made her angry. Every one of them had sacrificed so much. Bled, cried and outright saved the world for these people, and now they wandered around in happy oblivion while the so-called heroes continued to suffer? They'd given all they had so these people to could live to bumble about for another day, and this was their thanks? How was that fair?

Natsuki rubbed her forehead irritatedly. That was a bit hypocritical of her, wasn't it? All take and no give could probably be ascribed to her relationship with Shizuru, too. She'd certainly done her best to keep her at arm's length, even after Shizuru had turned out to be a HiME as well. Especially then.

And yet, Shizuru had never wavered. She'd stubbornly stood by her come hell or high water. Even in the depth of insanity, everything she'd done had been born from the love she felt – the need to protect what mattered most to her.

So what was the thanks that Shizuru got? To be no more than awkward friends with the object of her affection, which was surely tearing her up inside. To have said object never want to be alone with her. To be met with wariness instead of warmth.

Natsuki exhaled through her nose and rested a hand against the frame of the window. Would it perhaps have been better, she wondered, if they two of them had just cut their ties? Let Shizuru go, let her move on instead of constantly shoving in her face what she couldn't have?

Yeah, maybe it would have been. But she had been selfish and wanted to keep her precious one close – she'd gotten her wish, but continued to keep her distance anyway.

_I'm such a good friend, aren't I?_ she considered disgustedly. _Pulling her closer and pushing her away at the same time... no wonder she looks so tired._

"Natsuki?"

She startled at the sound of her own name, and turned around to see crimson eyes blink at her as Shizuru straightened in her seat. The lines were gone now - the mask having slipped back into place the second that the older girl had woken up - but that didn't keep her from remembering what they'd looked like.

"Yo." She folded her hands behind her back, and let them cushion her as she leaned against the window sill. "Here for the festival?"

"In a manner of speaking." Shizuru rested her folded hands on the table. "Kikukawa-san was supposed to meet with a collection of sponsors today, but she regrettably fell ill this morning. Fumi-san asked me for a favor."

"You work too hard."

"I'm flattered that Natsuki thinks so." The former kaichou's lips quirked in a small smile as she rose from her seat and stepped over to the window, though she visibly made sure to keep a polite distance from the other girl. "Have you been here long?"

Natsuki shook her head. "No," she muttered, and hated the distance between them, even if she didn't know if that hate was for the physical or the emotional kind of distance. "Just a few minutes. Sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't." She watched that damnable lock of chestnut hair waft in the breeze from the open window; taunting her as Shizuru turned her face into the wind. "In any regard, I suppose it is somewhat rude of me to fall asleep during such a festive time."

Their eyes met briefly, and the pain in the red eyes that Shizuru couldn't quite hide made her have to look away. "I guess."

_Dammit, Kuga, you're hurting her all over again._ She tracked her gaze around the room and watched as the sunset painted the walls in a fiery display of oranges and reds; almost painfully conscious of the presence at her side and the faint hint of lilac that drifted over to her. _You have the power to fix this – to put a stop to it – so do it already!_

But just the thought of saying goodbye made her throat close up.

"Natsuki?"

Hesitantly, she looked up, and flinched inwardly as she saw the worried look aimed her way.

_Why do you care so much?_

Shizuru blinked, and Natsuki clapped a hand over her mouth as she realized that she'd spoken the wistful question out loud.

"Because I love you."

She sighed and shoved her hand into her pocket. "That simple, huh?"

"Yes. That simple." Shizuru gave her a small, sad smile and folded her own hands in front of her. "And that complicated."

Her hand closed almost instinctively around the ribbon in her pocket, and she rubbed her thumb against the smooth silk as she studied her feet in silence. She couldn't keep hurting her most important person like this. It wasn't fair to Shizuru if she had to constantly be happy with what Natsuki herself was willing to give; that was something that had been going on for far too long already, which the ribbon was a stark reminder of.

But if she couldn't stop this vicious dance by pushing Shizuru away completely, then she really only had one other option.

Pull her in. Hold her close. Give her everything she had.

Never let go.

The question was... could she do that? She lifted her head and met Shizuru's eyes again, studied the affectionate, soft look in them that the older girl seemed to do nothing to hide. It was a scary thought.. the idea of opening herself so completely to someone else.

A thought occurred to her. Was that... was that what made her so afraid of Shizuru? Because admittedly, if she was going to make herself so vulnerable to another person, who was a more likely candidate?

Again, there was a pang in her chest. But this time, she realized with some surprise, it didn't hurt.

The wind blew that damned, stray lock of hair in front of Shizuru's eyes, and the older girl raised a hand to brush it aside.

"No." She straightened - determined - and stopped the hand with her own. "I..." Her hand shook again as she lifted it up further, but this time, she pushed through her fear and caught the soft hairs on her own fingers.

And watched the crimson eyes widen almost imperceptibly as she gently settled the tawny strands behind her friend's ear.

"... there," she muttered, and knew that she was blushing badly.

"... ookini." To say that Shizuru looked surprised would be an understatement. There was the faintest of confused furrows in her brow, and her lips were slightly parted as she seemed to struggle with a question. "Natsuki, what..."

_What are you doing?_

She wasn't entirely sure of that herself.

"Shizuru." She felt her own hands tremble, and settled them on the other girl's shoulders to steady them. "I..."

_I'm scared._

"I don't..." Hesitantly, she lifted one hand and traced lightly shaking fingers over her friend's cheek. "You..."

_You already have so much power over me. And here I am... about to give you even more._

She sighed through her teeth, frustrated at her inability to explain, and watched her own palm come to rest against the side of Shizuru's face. Her eyes flicked up and met another pair, and she bit her lip as a hand tenderly covered her own. There was still a small spark of uncertainty in the red gaze – as if Shizuru wasn't quite sure what was going on – but more than that, there was support. Understanding. Affection.

Hope.

"I just..." She couldn't let that hope burn out. "I don't want you to hurt anymore. So..."

"... Natsuki?"

Her fingers clutched at the material that covered Shizuru's shoulder, and she noticed how the red light of sunset deepened the color of her eyes and made her fair hair glow. "Please, just..." A small step forward, and she could feel the faint, brushing contact against her own chest as Shizuru's breath hitched. "Just... please..."

_Please don't leave me._

Soft. That was the first thought in her mind when their lips met tentatively – the lightest brush of skin against skin. Almost fearful; like the trembling hands that came to rest on her hips, then slowly slipped further as arms wrapped gently around her waist. Shizuru's eyes had already closed, and she let her own do likewise... let her hand slide back to feel the soft hair... let her own arm circle the older girl's shoulders.

And just _felt_.

_Oh, God... _Her heart seemed to be trying to leap right out of her throat, and her knees almost gave out. Her head was swirling with thoughts. Doubt. Her life had just become a mass of whirling, terrifying chaos all over again.

But she'd never felt safer.

Wetness met her hand where it still lay against Shizuru's cheek, and she heard a soft whimper as she pulled back and gently wiped the tear away. Whether the whimper had come from Shizuru or herself, she didn't know.

"I need... some time," she murmured into the shoulder her face was resting against. "Can you give me that?"

"Of course." A cheek brushed against her temple, and she felt the arms around her waist hold her a little closer. "Natsuki can have all... all the time she needs." The faint, warm moistness of a shaky exhale washed over her ear. "But... could we stay like this for a little while longer?"

"... yeah." She tightened her own hold and could almost feel Shizuru's heart thump painfully against her own chest. "I'd like that."

xXxXx

**End notes:**  
Yeesh, that took a lot out of me. I'd better not mention to my brothers how much my own writing can affect me, because they give me plenty of flack for crying during _Dumbo_.

"Aww! Does poor wittle big sis wanna tissue?" Brats. Love 'em. ^^ If anybody else needs a little pick-me-up, I recommend listening to _Fascination_ by _Alphabeat_. Both the song and the video are marvelously goofy and cheerful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimers:**  
_Just Say Yes _belongs to Snow Patrol and whoever manages them. For the rest of the "no lawsuit plz" mumbo-jumbo, see chapter one.

**Author's Notes:**  
woo bonus chapter woo

(This _intended_ one-shot (as in chapter one) was technically completed ages ago. Blame the plotbunnies. Little bastards bite.)

(Also (brackets (in) brackets) rule.) Being sick does not, but strong rum in some hot tea and lots of sugar – just like mom suggested – helps. It also puts me in VERY high 'spirits' (hurr hurr), because I am a goddamn _lightweight_.

Enjoy!

(woo)

* * *

**Last time on _ShizNat Angst Goes to Hollyw-_ *SHOT***

"I need... some time," she murmured into the shoulder her face was resting against. "Can you give me that?"

"Of course." A cheek brushed against her temple, and she felt the arms around her waist hold her a little closer. "Natsuki can have all... all the time she needs." The faint, warm moistness of a shaky exhale washed over her ear. "But... could we stay like this for a little while longer?"

"... yeah." She tightened her own hold and could almost feel Shizuru's heart thump painfully against her own chest. "I'd like that."

**Just Say Yes**

* * *

_Just say yes  
Just say there's nothing holding you back  
It's not a test  
nor a trick of the mind  
Only love_

xXxXx

It was a single-story, functional country home set far from any other dwellings. It rested near the top of a gently sloping hill between the trees and the sky, connected to the asphalt road only by a long, narrow, gravel one. That hill was one of many, and not even the tallest, but provided the house with a lovely view of the dipping, rolling landscape and the thick vegetation that covered it.

It wasn't an old building. Far from it, actually. It had been erected less than ten years back by an elderly man who wanted a weekend retreat for himself and his family. It was also far enough out of the way that his children had decided to sell it after he passed away. Now, it was one of many Fujino properties distributed around the country; bought by the current heads of the family when they'd learned that their daughter was remaining where she was to attend college, rather than returning home to Kyoto.

Fujino Shizuru, who was – of course – the daughter in question, exited the house through the sliding door that faced the back yard, and deposited a glass and a pitcher of ice water on a small, circular table that waited patiently on the porch, before taking a seat on an adjoining chair. She wore jeans and a neat, tucked-in t-shirt in the slightly humid September weather, and her long hair was pinned back in response to the breeze that made the leaves of the surrounding forest whisper contentedly.

The ice cubes clinked softly as Shizuru filled her glass, and she took a sip of the pleasantly cool drink before settling back in her seat and crossing her legs at the knees. It was early Saturday evening, and in spite of the amount of time it usually took her to drive here from the university dorms, she had already been here half the day. In the face of that, she couldn't really fault herself for feeling just a little satisfied that one of the professors had fallen sick enough to cancel his classes for the day. It calmed her to be here, where she could be herself without the expectations of fans, fellow students and university staff, and just tilt her head back and watch the slanting rays of sunlight kiss the overhanging clouds in an explosion of gold.

She did that now while a bird sang cheerfully somewhere off to her right, and relished the fact that she'd finished all her work for the following week. That meant that all she had to worry about for the remainder of the weekend was filling her time with tasks she enjoyed – at least until she'd repeat the two-and some-odd hours driving back to Fuuka on Sunday evening.

Another sip of the water, followed by the strange and almost ticklish sensation of the cold liquid chilling its way through her warm body and into her stomach, and she sighed into the humid air as she trailed a fingertip through the gathering condensation on the side of the glass. There was a stain on the knee of her jeans from her time spent weeding the flowerbeds, and she eyed it benignly while her thoughts swam in lazy, pleasant circles.

It had been just over three months since the Summer Festival. Since she'd found herself in Fuuka Academy's re-built Student Council Room to put to rest a series of memories, both pleasant and not. She'd seated herself in her old place at the head of the room, and apparently been tired enough to actually fall asleep in the chair, only to wake up to see Natsuki standing by the window. The fact that it had been a perfect reversal of their positions from a long list of meetings before the Carnival hadn't escaped her, and she'd stayed still for several seconds in order to watch an array of emotions play across what little she could make out of the younger girl's face.

Wistfulness, worry, self-recrimination, anger, sadness...

_Bishoujo_, she remembered thinking as she'd sat there. _What is on your mind?_ Another thought had invaded almost without her notice. _And why won't you let me take it away?_

Then she'd 'woken' and stood, and they'd talked inanely about unimportant things until all of a sudden there'd been an uncertain hand on her cheek, half-finished sentences and deep, rain-wet green filling her vision. Lips had touched her own, and something very essential and very deep inside her had trembled as she'd held Natsuki in her arms.

"Hahh..." She exhaled audibly as she forced open her eyes and faded back into the present. Her body was buzzing happily, and she threatened it into behaving with a rather hefty mental stick. Natsuki had asked for time, and much as it was absolutely killing her to be patient when she finally had a convincing kernel of hope to hold, she had promised her that much. It wasn't like she hadn't seen her plenty often since then, either.

Or like they hadn't touched, she considered. Friendly ways only, certainly, but it was as if that one kiss had been the plug that closed the dam holding Natsuki's emotions in check. She'd certainly gotten progressively more accepting of feeling Shizuru's hands against her skin since then. And vice versa.

Shizuru chewed her lower lip and stared firmly at the horizon as she un- and re-crossed her legs. Perhaps she should drink some more of that ice water.

She curled her fingers around the cool glass and raised it to her lips, only to pull it away from her face with a surprised jerk of her arm once her nose touched something silky and sweet-smelling instead of the open space she'd expected. She had to blink at the the contents a few times before she realized that a single red rose – full, large and soft a with a scent that could charm the birds from the trees – had been set to rest in the middle of her drink. Her hands shook as she gently plucked it out and ran the very tips of her fingers over the satiny petals, suddenly acutely aware of another person's breathing only a few feet away.

How long had she been there? And how far gone in her own mind had she been, that she hadn't heard her at all?

"I figure I'm supposed to say something corny right now," came the familiar voice, and she turned her head to see Natsuki leaning against the wall on one shoulder, watching her with an expression that was a roughly equal mix of amusement, embarrassment and apology. "But I honestly have no clue what."

"Ara?" Shizuru twirled the rose gently between two fingers before bringing it to her nose and inhaling slowly; using the large petals to hide her smile. "So Natsuki didn't plan this?"

"Well..." Her guest scratched the back of her head. "Uh... sort of? I wanted to see you, but..." A cough. "Not a lot of stores open."

"I suppose you mean florists?" Shizuru guessed, and swallowed a grin at the furious blush she got in reply. "That would explain why this bears such a strong resemblance to the roses in my front yard."

Natsuki groaned and flopped into the chair across from her. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice that part," she muttered, covering her eyes with one hand. "Sorry."

Thoroughly amused, Shizuru shook her head and studied the young woman across from her with a soft chuckle. "Natsuki?" She tapped the bloom against the young woman's nose and waited until a green eye peeked out at her from between two fingers. "It's fine," she promised with a smile. "As long as you're the one who gave it to me, I don't mind where you found it."

The brilliant red on her visitor's cheeks flared even further, and Shizuru was hard pressed to contain another chuckle at the sight of the fingers swiftly snapping together again.

_Really_, her mind supplied as she brought the rose back and inhaled the delicate fragrance again, _she is far too adorable for her own good. I wonder if she knows?_

She could easily picture Natsuki riding around Fuuka looking for an open florist, which she knew from her own time spent walking around the small town was no easy thing to find on a Saturday evening. She also had no trouble imagining Natsuki's increasing frustration in that very fact. The girl had probably given up with an eventual huff and just driven here in the hopes of finding some sort of alternate solution, which had apparently turned up on the other side of the house.

_Speaking of which_... She peered curiously at her younger friend, and tilted her head. "Natsuki?"

"What?" came the growling reply, though the hand didn't move from its position across Natsuki's eyes.

_Oo, what a grouch_, Shizuru considered affectionately, and tickled one of the red cheeks with a finger until Natsuki predictably jolted in her seat and glared at her.

"What?!"

"Ikezu," Shizuru pouted in response. "I simply wanted Natsuki to look at me. She claims to have come here to _see me_, after all, hm?"

"Nn." Natsuki curled her arms across her chest and settled back in her seat with a faint, wry twist of her mouth. "I guess so."

"Guess?" she prompted teasingly, and hid a smile at the glower she got in return.

"You suck," Natsuki carefully pronounced.

Every bit as carefully, Shizuru consciously held her tongue; reaching instead for her water glass and taking a sip of it in calculated silence. Just because Natsuki made it easy, it didn't mean that she had to take _every_ chance, after all.

Most of them, yes. But not all of them.

Nothing, however, was preventing her from enjoying the images invoked.

"I missed you," Natsuki admitted some small amount of time later, and settled her forearms on the table as her gaze dropped to her folded hands. "You usually visit before you drive up here."

Shizuru presumed that the flower she'd received had widened the boundaries of what was accepted, and set down her glass in favor of tenderly cupping one pale cheek. Natsuki didn't object; actually, she leaned slightly into the touch, and Shizuru felt a gentle trickle of warmth as she let her fingers stroke the smooth skin until the clear, green eyes met her own.

"I'm sorry," she told her sincerely. "My classes let out early. I stopped by, but you weren't home at the time."

"Ah." There was a flicker of... something in Natsuki's eyes, and if Shizuru had to provide a name based on the short glimpse she'd gotten, she'd have called it relief.

_What are you so worried about?_ she wondered.

"Um..." Natsuki's hand captured her own, pulling it away from her face and instead cradling it gently, and Shizuru watched a faint tinge of ruby-red color her cheeks as their eyes met again. "Wanna go for a walk?"

Now she was definitely curious.

"Certainly."

The chairs scraped softly against the wooden deck as they both stood.

"You didn't drive all the way here in those clothes, did you?" she inquired, catching back up to her train of thought from earlier.

"No." Natsuki looked down at the white, long-sleeved shirt and black jeans she wore, and shook her head. "I changed inside."

"Ah."

xXxXx

"So..." Shizuru finally spoke up. They'd lost sight of the house a while back, and were currently well into the forest. Thankfully, it was a fairly young example of its kind. The trees were tall and varied, but there was still enough space between them to let sunlight through almost everywhere, and the ground was covered in wild grasses rather than the dead wood and natural debris that tended to mark the forests of the older, denser variety.

She'd even stumbled across a few species of wild berry bushes on odd occasions – some of which she'd taken samples of and was now carefully nurturing until she could hopefully plant them come spring.

"Should we talk about the rose?" she asked.

Green eyes cut to her own briefly. "About where I got it or about what it meant?"

Shizuru smiled at the faint sheen of worry she saw in her companion's gaze. "About what it meant," she promised.

"Well..." The dark head tilted back as Natsuki looked at the overcast sky – to gather her thoughts, the older woman supposed – and then the green eyes blinked as a fat drop of rain hit her right between the eyes. "Uh."

_Damn_. Shizuru flicked her gaze down as she felt a drop hit her elbow as well. Then one hit her knee with enough force for her to feel the impact even through the material of her jeans, and another caught one of her knuckles.

Not five seconds later, they were sprinting through an absolute downpour, and Shizuru – knowing the area far better than her younger friend - took the lead as Natsuki gamely and easily kept pace beside her.

"Here!" She grabbed onto Natsuki's elbow, and didn't even feel a stumble as she took them both under the protective canopy of a large, wide oak tree. The break from the force of the heavy rain was instantaneous and almost startling, and she felt herself bend lightly at the waist from the sudden lack of resistance as she used her hands to wipe the excess moisture away from her face and carefully wring out her hair, which had been practically soaked through even though they'd spent mere moments in the elements without sufficient cover.

That done, she followed Natsuki towards the trunk of the tree they'd sought refuge under and leaned back against it with a sigh as she tugged the damp material of her t-shirt away from her skin. The rough bark was mossy and moist as well, but at this point, stains were the least of her worries.

Natsuki was peering up into the mass of deep green above with a calculating look on her face, and Shizuru felt a slight smile pull at her lips as the sight.

"It's too wet to climb right now," she offered, and the sudden, deepening color on her companion's face let her know that she'd hit the nail on the head.

"Stop reading my mind," Natsuki complained.

"Hm?" She chuckled in response. "Do forgive me."

"About the rose," her companion decisively spoke up before Shizuru could find grounds to tease her further.

"Yes?" She waited for a few seconds, watching in thinly veiled amusement as Natsuki's mouth worked silently. It didn't surprise her, really, that the young woman's intention had been to cut her off more than anything else. Natsuki was getting very apt at recognizing an impending poke at her tender dignity, after all.

"Um..." The dark head bent, and Natsuki's hands curled in the black denim covering the front of her thighs. "I guess it's... us moving on in some way."

For a single instant that seemed to last an age, Shizuru felt the weight of the world almost push her to the ground. "Don't tell me Natsuki has tired of me already." Her voice was light and joking, but her heart was beating so rapidly she feared it was about to burst right out of her chest.

"That wasn't what I meant." Natsuki's voice was soft. "What I'm tired of is how we're taking two steps forward and two steps back." A beat. "Not moving forward."

Shizuru very carefully released the breath she'd been holding, in a slow, controlled manner.

"Is that what it means?" she then probed carefully; crossing her toes and the fingers of the one hand she held out of sight. "That you want to see if... if something more could happen between us?"

Natsuki worked the toe of her shoe under a fallen leaf and gave a swift flick of her foot – sending the innocent bit of fauna flying.

"Yeah," she finally admitted. "I just..." A pause, and Shizuru could almost see the wheels turning behind her eyes. "...I dunno. I guess I'm just scared."

_Scared._ The word rammed into Shizuru's chest with the force of a jackhammer, and she closed her eyes against the sudden, sharp pain it produced. _Of course. How could you expect her to want you without reservations? _She watched the leaves above wave tenderly in the slight breeze that curled past the two of them, and the pressure that squeezed her heart was so tight she could barely breathe._ You're a romantic, idiotic fool, Shizuru. Of course she can't trust you – look at everything you did to hurt her._

"Oi." The sudden jab of an elbow to her side made her exhale in surprise, and Shizuru lowered her gaze to meet a set of annoyed green eyes that pinned her into place. "Knock it off, wouldya?"

"Ah..." She blinked a few times in honest confusion, having no blessed clue exactly what it was that she was supposed to 'knock off'. Really, what _was_ it about this girl that sent her so off-balance all the time?

"I _said_ I was scared," Natsuki grumbled, obviously disliking the admission but realizing that her companion required some sort of clarification. "I didn't say it was of you."

_Oh_. Shizuru considered that, and the bands of pressure around her chest dissolved so rapidly it made her lightheaded. "Then..."

Natsuki groaned softly and scrubbed a hand over her rapidly reddening face. "Look," she began, pressing a hand to her forehead and closing her eyes. "I like to plan, right?" A single, green eye popped open and regarded her. "I mean..." Pause. "I know I'm rash. I... jump into things sometimes and... I have this really irritating tendency to get myself into these _situations_," the last word was emphasized by a growl as Shizuru gave a faint smile. "Stop that!"

"Forgive me." She schooled her face into a neutral expression, though she neither could nor would remove the smile from her eyes. "I was merely remembering-"

"A whole list of those times, yeah." A glower. "I bet – since they only tend to happen when you're around."

"I have no idea what Natsuki is referring to."

"Hrmph." Her companion huffed and shook her head. "Whatever. My point is that I do like to plan things. Important ones, anyway." A pause, and a warning look at Shizuru, who obligingly nodded her head, but otherwise remained silent. "But I... I don't have anything to draw on for this. Okay?" Pause, and her hands dropped, first into her pockets, then hooking in her belt loops, then into her back pockets. "I don't know what to do."

"Natsuki," Shizuru took a breath to speak, but a shake of the dark head stopped her.

"Let me finish," was the soft request, aimed at the grass beneath their feet as Natsuki ducked her head. "I know that I want this." Her cheeks colored faintly, and she shoved her hands deeply into her side pockets again. "You. But..." She sighed. "I'm... I've never done anything like this before, and I don't..." a soft growl, and Shizuru watched as the young woman started pacing, muttering agitatedly under her breath all the while.

"Urgh." Natsuki came to a halt at the edge of the overhang. She stood with her back to the older woman and wrapped her arms around herself against the cool evening breeze. It almost looked, Shizuru considered, as if she was hugging herself – fearfully and preemptively warding off the possible recriminations of whatever it was that she was trying to say.

"Shizuru..." she froze as the sound of her friend's husky voice tickled her ears. "You taught me what friendship meant." Natsuki's head turned even as she kept her eyes on the ground, and Shizuru watched in rapt fascination as the fading sunlight turned those lovely eyes the faintest shade of ochre. She seemed to be biting off the words as she forced them past her lips, and Shizuru wanted nothing more than to enfold the young woman in her arms... to take away whatever fears were attempting to block the words in getting out.

But the display was spellbinding. The way Natsuki was silhouetted against the reddening rays of light that managed to peek from behind the clouds and pierce through the leaves that made up their cover... how her voice mingled with the sound of the rain, and how Shizuru could somehow still catch the faintest trace of her scent, even as she remained where she was, leaning against the tree. It was riveting, it made her heart threaten to burst if she were to move, and she was trapped.

"In the last few months..." Natsuki's arms seemed to tighten, and she could see the slender shoulders straighten almost painfully. "You've helped me realize what it felt like to be... more than just friends, and I..." Pause. "I'm comfortable with that. I... I like it. But..."

Her heart was pounding in her chest.

"I want more." The green eyes briefly cut to meet her own, and she watched Natsuki's throat work as the girl swallowed. "I want to know what it's like to... to be with you. As not a friend." Natsuki's eyes closed tightly, and she turned her head; hiding her face from view once more. "But I don't know how." A tremulous breath. "I know I want to, but... there are these times where I want to k-kiss you. To have you kiss me, and... I just can't make it happen."

"Why not?" she finally spoke up, though she made sure to keep her voice soft. Curious, not accusing.

"What if I do something wrong?" came the reply after a few long moments, and Shizuru had covered half the distance between them by the time she heard Natsuki's voice break. "What if I somehow push you away and you... I couldn't take it if..." The words stilled as Shizuru reached her, carefully encircling the young woman in her arms and resting her forehead against the dark hair.

How strange and yet appropriate it was, she considered, that it was the exact same fears that kept them both from doing what they truly wanted.

"Turn around," she requested, and felt the body in her arms tense. "Please?"

Three twin breaths.

"Natsuki..."

Two.

"I dont' care what you do." Her fingers pressed against the lithely muscled arms, and she touched her lips to the crown of obsidian hair. "Mistakes are universal. As long as you're willing to see if we could have something, it's everything I could have dreamed of."

One breath. Shared.

Same rhythm.

"Don't give up before we can even try," she begged. "Please."

Hands clasped her own and pulled them apart, and there was a second where she was filled with more apprehension than she'd ever experienced in her life before she realized that Natsuki wasn't pulling free to get away. That she was simply loosening Shizuru's hold on her to turn... and that she kept a firm – if slightly clammy – hold on one of her hands all the while.

Still, she had to spend a few seconds returning to her normal state of mind before she could possibly speak again.

_Focus_.

"There is no test involved in this," Shizuru told her quietly, catching the green eyes and holding them with her own. "No bad marks, no wrong answers. If you feel like doing something or want to ask something of me, do it. I will _never_ tell you no, Natsuki. Ever."

Natsuki's teeth worried at her lower lip as she met the red gaze head-on; her eyes probing. "That's one hell of a promise to make."

Shizuru didn't even blink. "It's one I made a long time ago."

"...oh."

"Mm."

Natsuki remained where she was, playing with the hand she held in her own. Shizuru watched calmly as the gentle fingers traced the lines on her palm, then trailed lightly out along the the inside of her fingers and back again, before Natsuki turned the hand in her grasp over and repeated the pattern on that side as well.

She was, however, keenly aware of the pensive frown on her companion's face. There was some serious thinking going on beneath the black hair, and she wished she could look into those eyes again, because as much as Natsuki liked to pretend otherwise, everything she felt really and truly did show there. Perhaps, Shizuru imagined, that was why she had kept her back turned earlier – to keep some measure of control over how much she showed in order to ease the words from her throat.

She watched her friend's chest expand and contract in a soundless sigh, and tilted her head in question as Natsuki lifted her gaze again. Just as she'd expected, those lovely eyes told so much more than the other woman probably realized. They revealed anxiety, which she had expected. Affection, which she had also anticipated, if still not quite at the level that she saw. And - Shizuru watched as the pale lips moved haltingly, though no sound emerged – determination.

"Hm?" she prompted gently.

Something in the green eyes flickered briefly – a split-second of almost-panic – and then Shizuru felt the breath leave her lungs as Natsuki virtually hugged the life out of her, holding on as though her very survival depended on it. The young woman's face was pressed firmly into Shizuru's shoulder, and she could feel the heat of a blush she was unable to see warm her skin through the damp material of her t-shirt.

She very carefully did not chuckle at the display; realizing that this request for physical comfort had been so abrupt and almost violent because Natsuki had worried herself into a right state by being unable to simply ask for it. Instead, she merely wrapped her arms around the younger woman in return, kissed the warm temple lightly and let her hands draw slow, soothing patterns against the back of the pale-colored shirt until she felt the hold on her own waist loosen as Natsuki relaxed.

"This really is the safest place in the world," came the murmur against the side of her neck a few moments later – so soft that she could barely make out the words over the sound of the driving rain pitter-pattering against the ground and the leaves above. "Isn't it?"

There was something in the timbre of Natsuki's voice – some quality that Shizuru couldn't quite put her finger on but yet innately understood at the same time – that made it clear that she didn't mean the forest or even their shielded place under the canopy. Her breath hitched as she felt another tiny, crucial piece of their puzzle click into place, and crimson eyes blinked rapidly as she swallowed against the sudden urge to cry.

Because that question confirmed to her the one thing that she had never truly expected; that Natsuki understood.

"Yes." She tightened her hold, pressing her cheek against the damp, dark hair and feeling the warm breath of her own safest haven on the skin just between her shoulder and throat. "Yes, it is."

They stayed there long enough for the sun to sink below the hilltops and the faint blue of early twilight to wrap around them. Long enough for their bodies to grow used to each other's presence, and for Natsuki to slowly let her fingertips paint faint patterns on the back of Shizuru's shirt.

That, Shizuru decided as a single digit either intentionally or not – she wasn't sure – found its way onto her skin, was thoroughly distracting. Only in the best of ways, certainly, but still.

"Hey." Natsuki's voice interrupted her train of thought as she felt the other girl pull back slightly. "Can we go up there?"

_Up where?_ Red eyes followed the arm the younger woman had extended, and peered through the now lightening rain to the top of the nearby hill that Natsuki was pointing to. _Ah_. The last rays of the sun were still touching the ground at the top of the hill in question. The warmth that promised would have been enough to coax her out from their mostly water-proof shelter on its own. Natsuki wanting to go there, of course, didn't hurt.

"Of course," she replied, and was rewarded with a shy smile as they left the shelter of the overhanging leaves and stepped into the rain. Hand in hand.

"Wow." Natsuki released her hand and used her own to block the still bright rays of sunlight from her eyes as they reached the top – bare of trees, but lush with fresh, green grass and large quantities of wild, autumn flowers. "That's some view."

"Mm." Shizuru smiled. While Natsuki had visited her here a few times, she did remember that they hadn't previously spent any time outside the lot that the small house was built on. Together, anyway. Shizuru herself had spent many hours wandering the woods, and had managed to make herself enough of a fixture in this small patch of nature that even the wild deer no longer fled when she was nearby.

The rain persevered, and she could feel the tickle of the drops against the top of her head. That somehow brought to mind something from her pre-school years, and she glanced up into the gray clouds overhead before turning her back to the sun and scanning the opposite horizon.

_Ah_. "Natsuki?" She waited until the younger woman met her gaze questioningly, and then pointed. "See that? Over the trees behind the lake?"

She did, judging by the way her eyes widened slightly. It really was a fantastic example of a rainbow – the arch was complete and spanned across miles of the surrounding forest, and all the colors were clear and sharply defined in beautiful contrast with the grey clouds and the deep green and occasional splashes of yellow and orange of the trees below.

"Roy G. Biv."

The low mutter caught her attention. "Pardon?"

Natsuki chuckled and raised one hand, ticking off on her fingers as she spoke. "Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, ivory and violet."

"Ah." She felt a corner of her mouth quirk in amusement. "So Natsuki _is_ paying attention in school."

"Phbbt."

Shizuru chuckled at the raspberry that was Natsuki's sole response to her little tease, and left the younger woman to study the view in peace. Instead, she took a few steps and turned her attention to the ground beneath her feet, where the wildflowers supplied another explosion of color that – much like the rainbow – almost screamed in defiance of the dreariness of the gray weather.

Nature in action, she supposed.

She crouched and ran a fingertip over the center of one of the flowers, and studied the resulting, bright yellow streak of pollen the action left on her skin. "Hm."

"What are you doing?" Natsuki's voice came from just over her left shoulder; the younger woman having obviously wandered closer in curiosity. Then Shizuru heard her laugh softly and close in further, and she could see her companion's shadow stretch out ahead of her as Natsuki bent down. "Ah. Playing in the mud, huh?"

That, Shizuru considered as she picked one of the reddish flowers and held it loosely between two fingers, actually sounded like a very good idea.

"Shizuru?" She turned her head and met the eyes peering at her from very close by. One of them twitched, and she grinned in reaction.

"I know that look," Natsuki told her, and lowered her eyebrows in a scowl. "Whatever you're thinking, don't you dare." Pause. "Shizuru, I swear, I'm gonna g- argh! You-! Pah, pah!" Thump. "No tickli- gaaaaaah, STOP THAT!"

Obligingly – for now, anyway - Shizuru stopped and resumed her crouch; her chin resting in one hand as she peered bemusedly at the sight in front of her. Natsuki, sitting on her backside in the wet grass, legs akimbo and yellow streaks of varying lengths over her entire face and neck – staring at her as if she'd finally flipped her lid.

"What the hell did you do _that_ for?!" her companion finally demanded.

Shizuru sniffed the flower in her hand and grinned. "Stripes," she told her liltingly, and bit back a giggle as Natsuki swiped a wet hand over her forehead and scowled at the yellow mass that transferred to her fingers. "I think it suits you."

"Oh, really?" A faint, devilish glint showed in those very green eyes, and while Shizuru _could_ have made the hole in the air that escape required, she decided that she didn't particularly want to.

"Really," she answered instead, and closed her eyes tightly as she got a faceful of swiftly claimed, sweet-smelling flowers whose petals tickled her skin and – she was quite sure - probably colored the better part of her face.

"Spots," the younger woman drawled as she pulled her hand back. "I think it suits you."

They eyed each other for several heartbeats; then the flowerbed exploded in a flurry of pollen.

"Argh!" Natsuki twisted out of the way and sneezed as one bloom swiped the tip of her nose. She managed to get one foot under herself and move all of three inches before a hand grabbed her ankle and pulled, sending her sprawling onto her front with a squish of the soil and a 'phoof' of escaped air. Then two hands found the sides of her waist, and she nearly had to bite her lip through to keep from yowling in helpless laughter.

"Gotcha," Shizuru whispered against the shell of a very red ear; chuckling herself at the silently convulsing, squirming form beneath her.

She heard a growl that mixed interestingly with a half-choked snicker, and then got a first-hand demonstration of Natsuki's formidable hand-to-hand skills. A leg hooked around her own, twisted and pulled her off balance as her erstwhile captive turned beneath her, then let one palm – not a fist – find purchase on her shoulder and shoved. It was a further testament to the younger woman's skill that she was able to display the restraint she did; using a carefully calculated amount of force to merely roll Shizuru off of her instead of sending her flying, which she certainly could have done.

Being no slouch herself, Shizuru felt her body tuck into the motion as easily as breathing, and her feet found a stable hold in the rain-slicked grass within the span of a second. Leaning on one fist as she lifted herself off the ground, she raised her head to see Natsuki a few feet away in a similar position; a clear gleam of competitive spirit in her eyes and a fierce grin on her face.

_Yeah_. She felt an answering grin form on her own lips. The adrenalin now surging through her blood was her body's normal response to combat, but this time she felt it twine and meld with the air of playfulness that ran between them – forming a much gentler combination that she could very easily get used to. _Definitely a good idea._

Then she noticed Natsuki crouching deeper; her center of gravity shifting back over the balls of her feet, and she could practically see the muscles coiling beneath the wet material of the girl's black jeans.

_Uh oh_.

She had exactly the time it took her to quirk an eyebrow and raise her arms. Then Natsuki was airborne and hurtling towards her like a dark-haired missile, and it was all she could do to curl her arms around the slender body upon impact. But although she caught her, she hadn't had time to set herself, and Natsuki's momentum was more than enough to knock her over and send them both sliding through several feet of soaked grass.

Right over the edge of the slope, and downwards. Fast.

_Oh, dear_, Shizuru's mind tickled her dumbly, as she managed to form a map of their immediate surroundings in spite of their tumbling end over end. _The lake._ And the low overhang that they were probably approaching very rapidly at this point.

"We have to stop!" she yelled over the air rushing past her ears and the strands of tall grass lightly whipping against them.

"Ya _think?!_" Natsuki growled, hands and feet already scrabbling for any type of hold. But the surface beneath their flailing and entwined forms was wet grass and rain-slicked soil, and all they really succeeded in doing was to send a sizable spray of muddy water flying wildly in their wake.

Then the ground dropped out from under them, and they were falling through the air.

_At least it's a short fall_, Shizuru – who was now on the bottom – thought as she winced slightly in preparation for the impact, and curled herself around Natsuki in order to absorb as much of the shock as she could.

She was expecting a splash, but the last months had been dry and hot, and the lake had shrunk to half its regular size in that time. So the actual sensation was more of a... splat.

Natsuki sighed and lifted her head, watching disdainfully as the thick, black mud they'd landed in glorped and bubbled. "Like I said..." She straightened to a seat in her position astride the other girl's hips, and paused to blow the persistent raindrops off her upper lip. "This kinda thing only happens to me when I'm around you."

Shizuru shrugged her shoulders sheepishly, and watched as her companion studied the muck on her fingers; trying desperately not to stare at the spots on Natsuki's body where the now thoroughly soaked and mud-darkened clothes were revealing far more than they were hiding. Then there was a touch on her forehead which made her blink in surprise, and she felt herself go cross-eyed as she watched the single finger trail from there down to the tip of her nose.

"Stripes," Natsuki whispered shakily, and her breath was warm and sweet against the chill of the rain. "It suits you."

Then the sticky mud and the cold rain just outright ceased to exist; replaced by warm, soft lips that moved against her own and made a low, rolling heat rise within her while tiny chills chased themselves up and down her spine all at once. She was vaguely aware of whimpering against Natsuki's mouth, of the soft puffs of air against her own whenever they parted briefly, and of the gentle, slender hand that curled behind her neck. Vaguely, because she was entirely too focused on the slick, silky kiss that was stealing her every breath, the flickering, almost teasingly light touches of Natsuki's tongue, and the heady sensation of soft curves that settled fully against her and stirred the low boil in her belly into a roaring flame.

She gasped when they finally parted long enough for her to fill her lungs, and had to spend several moments just evening out her breathing and otherwise getting her cheerfully singing body back under control – a task made no easier by having Natsuki on top of her. Having that heartbreakingly beautiful face less than a breath away, and those lidded green eyes watching her really wasn't helping, either.

The color of Natsuki's eyes usually made her think of summer-green beech leaves, but now, with the rain pounding into the mud around them and Shizuru's hands clenching in her shirt, they'd darkened to a deeper color and gotten the most interesting, tiny white flecks around the pupils; like a pine forest dusted by the faintest layer of snow. And when she finally realized that she – _she_ – had caused that reaction, there was an almost painful stutter in her chest.

_I want you_, her body growled.

_I love you_, her heart pledged.

_I'm yours forever_, her soul whispered.

"Natsuki seems very pleased with herself," was what she actually said, because that was equally true, but less likely to cause her companion to freeze up. Her intention was to for it to be light-hearted, but her voice came out deep and husky and sounded quite a bit more... _intent_... than she had wanted.

_Slow_, she reminded herself. _Easy._

A slight blush chased itself swiftly across Natsuki's face, but she stayed where she was and quirked one corner of her lips into a crooked, almost smug smirk. "Shouldn't I be?" she murmured in response and arched an expressive eyebrow. "Pretty sure I'm the first one to leave the ever eloquent Fujino Shizuru both speechless _and_ breathless at the same t- YAH!"

The sudden shift in mood and pitch had come as Shizuru deftly and powerfully arched, lifting the younger woman clean – as it were - out of the mud, even as she curled her own body around and dove into a tackle; effectively reversing their positions. From her new perch, she looked at the still wide-eyed figure beneath her and produced a satisfied smile that had just a hint of a giddy grin at its corners. And quickly placed several dark blotches on Natsuki's face with her mud-covered fingers.

"Spots," she then decided, and sniffed philosophically. "It suits you."

Natsuki's eyes stood in stark contrast to her muddy face, and she rolled them in reply. "Hopeless," she muttered exasperatedly.

Shizuru chuckled and ducked her head; smiling against the lips that met her own without hesitation.

_Hopelessly in love?_

Natsuki's arms curled around her neck, pulling her closer, and the contrast between the warm body against her front and the cold rain against her back made the blood in her veins sing.

_Oh, definitely._

xXxXx

**End Notes:**  
Boy, Natsuki really thinks too much sometimes, ne? Hell, they both do.

For the curious ones, my writing music for this chapter:

_Snow Patrol – Just Say Yes_ (obviously)  
_A. R. Rahman & The Pussycat Dolls – Jai Ho!_  
_Hush – Say a little Prayer_ (I swear, this was written for Shizuru)  
_Ida – I Can Be_

Now... MythBusters!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimers:**  
_At the Beginning_ is performed by Donna Lewis and Richard Marx, part of the soundtrack for _Anastasia, _and I have no intention of infringing on any of those copyrights. I make no claim to the song; I'm merely borrowing it in other creative pursuits, and I promise to return it in pristine condition.

For the rest of the "no lawsuit plz" mumbo-jumbo, see chapter one.

**Author's Notes:**  
Gotta say, guys - getting back into the writing game feels _awesome_. I always get a warm welcome back when I post after a long break, and I really do appreciate it. Thanks. :)

However, now that my muse is back from the good, long nap she had while life was happening, she's talking up a storm and honestly driving me a little batty. So although this fic was only gonna have one more chapter, I'm adding this one on and making it a ...four-shot? Or something. To use all those little bits she keeps whacking me in the back of the head with (the little shit even has the nerve to _cackle_), this chapter is basically a collection of long and short snippets rolled into one.

Kinda like _Glimpse_, though here I'm trying very hard to portray Shizuru and Natsuki _growing_ as a couple; not them just being _there_ – phoof – with no backstory. I won't promise all fluff, either. So we're gonna have a little angst, a sprinkle of drama, a dash of confusion and a _lot_ of random cuteness - from varying POV's. I have a ball writing Shizuru these days, but Natsuki still has some input to give, too.

… ye Gods, I'm long-winded. Read the good stuff, already!

**At the Beginning**

* * *

_No one told me I was going to find you  
Unexpected, what you did to my heart  
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me  
This is the start_

xXxXx

"Don't you look cheerful?"

The calm, amused voice was the first thing Natsuki heard as she entered her dorm late on a Sunday evening, and given that she'd expected her roommates to both be sound asleep, it was no wonder that the sound startled her.

"Eh?" She glared at the redhead who'd perched herself on the end of one twin bed, and was now watching her with thinly veiled amusement. "What are you babbling about?"

Tokiha Mai put down the magazine she'd been reading and grinned. "Well, really, Natsuki. You disappear without a word, then turn up a day later looking a lot worse for wear..." A very pregnant pause. "... in the best of ways, I might add."

Natsuki scowled.

"Who wouldn't wonder?" Mai continued, undaunted.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she growled; practically tearing her night clothes from the dresser before stalking towards the bathroom to change, firmly ignoring the heat in her face.

"As you wish." Mai smiled, and slid backwards into the bed – though how she managed that with the way the soundly sleeping (and mildly drooling) Mikoto was sprawled all over it, Natsuki couldn't fathom. "Turn off the lights when you're done, would you?"

"...hrmph."

xXxXx

"Good morning, Shizuru-san."

"Hm?" She paused in her perusal of the bulletin board in front of her and turned to see a familiar, handsome figure just a few feet away. "Ah, Reito-san." A smile. "Good morning."

"I trust you aren't carrying any spicy foods today?" the young man asked, semi-jokingly.

Shizuru giggled. She remembered the cause for that question very clearly.

"Of course not," she assured him, though she didn't try to hide the amused twinkle in her eyes. "Reito-san has paid his debts."

"I'm gratified you feel that way." Reito chuckled as well as he finally stepped closer. "I take it you had a good weekend?"

She felt her lips twitch into a faint grin. Reito had always been able to read her – and she, in turn, him – without too much difficulty.

"You as well," she replied, halfway aware of the whispers and muted squeals as the surrounding students realized that the two most popular freshmen were talking to each other. "Love becomes you," she added under her breath, genuinely happy for her old friend.

"Likewise." The gray eyes of the former Obsidian Prince twinkled merrily at her. "I suppose congratulations are in order?"

"One might say so," Shizuru agreed. "To you as well."

"Thank you." Reito bowed, then extended his arm with a charming smile, and flicked his eyes at the watching crowd. "Might I escort you to your class, Shizuru-san?"

"Of course." She took the offered arm and let him lead the two of them away from the watching eyes and listening ears.

Some things were just better discussed in private.

xXxXx

Shizuru had only just locked the apartment door behind her before a series of notes jingled out of her pocket, and she muttered softly to herself as she hurriedly shed her warm jacket and settled her bag on the floor.

"Hello?" she placed the phone between her ear and shoulder; rubbing her hands together to regain the warmth that the early October chill had robbed them of.

"_Hey._"

"Natsuki," she identified, and felt her heart skip a beat at the sound of the familiar voice. "How are you?" she asked, barely aware of how her own had gone from simply polite to warm and tender in the space of mere seconds.

"_Just fine,"_ came the slightly halting reply, and Shizuru smiled at the hesitation she picked up. It was, she realized, one thing for the two of them to be alone – focused only on each other as they had been at her house in the country. Being together was an entirely different matter when they suddenly had to fit their everyday lives in, as well.

That, and they'd simply been too busy to really connect over the past couple of weeks, which would naturally lead to some measure of awkwardness – at least on Natsuki's part.

"I miss you," she offered.

"_...me too."_ Natsuki's voice was low, but the emotion in it was genuine. _"I'm sorry."_

"_Don't forget to invite her!" _she heard someone call in the background, and while Natsuki muffled her end of the phone as she replied, Shizuru could hear her voice well enough to tell that the return volley probably consisted of some very... choice words.

"_Mai... says hi." _A 'thump' traveled down the lines, and the phone was muffled again, though it was decidedly less effective this time around. _"Ow! Watch it!"_

"_Oh, don't be such a baby,"_ came Tokiha Mai's voice again._ "And remember – you promised!"_

"_Okay! Okay!" _Shuffling noises._ "Um... Shizuru?"_

"Yes?" Gods, but it was taking a supreme effort to not laugh at the scene she could very easily picture in her head.

"_Mai is throwing a karaoke party on Saturday... for everyone." _Natsuki sounded none-too-pleased and horribly adorable at the prospect. _"She wanted me to invite you along."_

"Is that so?" She felt a slight grin curl at her mouth as she settled herself on the couch. "And here I was thinking that Natsuki hated karaoke."

"_And you'd be right,"_ came the slightly sour reply. _"But Mai **insists**."_

_And probably came up with all sorts of creative ways to convince her_, Shizuru considered, though she wisely didn't giggle at the growl that made up the last word. _Perhaps Mai-san and I should discuss tactics sometime. She certainly seems to be aware of the new extent of our relationship already._

"Then I look forward to joining you," she accepted with a smile. "Can I think of this Saturday as our first official date?"

There was a soft, surprised choking noise. _"Ah... sure?"_ Natsuki's reply was halfway between an affirmation and a question, and had also been pitched about an octave higher than was normal for her.

It really was horribly cute, Shizuru decided, and chuckled as she pictured the panicked look that had accompanied the virtual squeak.

"You _can_ say no, Natsuki," she assured the younger woman. "I promise I won't be offended." Disappointed, maybe – but not offended.

"_No! Um..." _A cough, and then more calmly: "_No. I... It's fine. I'll pick you up?"_

"Alright." Shizuru felt a faint blush stain her cheeks. "I'll see you then."

xXxXx

"What's wrong?"

Natsuki startled at the low whisper against the edge of her ear, and jerked her head around to meet the curious, crimson eyes that were studying her closely.

Two sets of eyes on this earth made her feel as if they could see right through her, Natsuki considered, and glanced down at the warm hand that settled on her knee. Mai's mostly just tended to make her nervous and twitchy. Shizuru's did pretty much the same, but with a strange, warm undertone that somehow made all the difference.

"I really hate karaoke," she murmured in response to avoid being heard over the sound of Midori's barely-sober wailing. "The longer it takes before my name comes up, the more nervous I get."

She watched as the older girl slowly took in their surroundings; from the flashing lights to the food and drinks, to the loud music and the strongly varying levels of enthusiasm in the attendees. Then a crafty glint entered the red eyes, and Shizuru smiled so faintly that it was barely discernible.

"Leave it to me," she replied softly, just as Midori – thankfully – finished her performance; staggering off the stage as Mai spun the wheel again.

"Rats," the redhead muttered as the wheel stopped and played a short, obnoxious fanfare, "Natsuki! It's your turn!"

"Mai-san?" Shizuru had spoken up in that almost insufferably polite way of hers before Natsuki could as much as open her mouth. "You'll excuse me, but Natsuki complained of a sore throat earlier – I assume that she's spent too much time in the rain during the week." The former student council president gave the younger redhead a serene smile. "I've asked that she not strain herself tonight. I hope you'll forgive my presumption?"

"...sure." Mai didn't look entirely convinced, but she agreed to the offered information all the same, and spun the wheel again with a hopeful look.

Meanwhile, Natsuki was baffled. Was it really that easy? Why the hell hadn't she thought of _that_ before?!

"We'll have to think of something else for next time," Shizuru whispered in her ear, and squeezed her knee. "For now, try not to speak or laugh out loud for the rest of our time here, hm? Mai-san seems suspicious as it is."

Natsuki nodded her head dumbly, feeling a blush heat her face as the warm breath against the side of her face caused some rather interesting reactions to roll through her body. She glanced down at the hand that still rested on her knee.

And before it could move away, she covered it with her own.

xXxXx

"No."

"Natsuki needs new winter clothes."

"I do." Pause. "But _not_ that one."

"Why not?" she wondered, and tried to sound as innocent as possible. "It looks so cheerful, hm?"

Natsuki gawked at her in abject disbelief. "Are you serious?!" she sputtered. "Look at it! It looks like it was designed by a colorblind mole rat on acid!"

Shizuru bit the inside of her lip to keep from smiling. It was true – the top she had pulled from the pile was exceptionally gaudy and quite possibly one of the ugliest things she'd ever laid eyes on. After all, that was exactly why she'd chosen it; wanting to see Natsuki's reaction when she suggested buying it.

She certainly hadn't been disappointed.

"Ah, but Natsuki, the shirt is _talking_ to you," she whispered conspiratorially, and hid a grin when the younger girl crossed her arms and huffed. "Can't you hear it?"

"Oh, it's talking." The green eyes gave the top a disgusted look. "It's just not saying anything I'm gonna repeat out loud."

"Is that so?" Shizuru eased closer until her lips were practically brushing the shell of her companion's ear. Sometimes Natsuki really just made it too easy. "Is it saying naughty things?"

A low growl and a fierce blush was the only reply as Natsuki resolutely plucked the shirt from her fingers, threw it back onto the pile and dragged her further into the store.

xXxXx

_What is it about her?_

Natsuki rested her chin in her hand and sighed softly. She was sitting at the small dining table in the kitchen that had – to her, at least – rapidly become one of the most important places in the apartment that Shizuru had moved into after leaving the Fuuka Academy dorms. It was here that they took any shared meals outside of their respective schools, where Shizuru usually was whenever she stopped by – preparing tea, more often than not - and where Natsuki was currently wondering how anyone could make _cooking_ seem so damned elegant.

Shizuru hummed softly to herself as she rinsed off a collection of vegetables before transferring them to a wooden cutting board. Then those slender, gentle hands closed around the handle of a knife, and Natsuki chewed her lower lip as she studied how her companion deftly and efficiently chopped her way through a carrot in what seemed like record time.

_How does she do that?_

It wasn't like it was an unfamiliar sight. In spite of the relatively short time that Shizuru had actually lived in this location, Natsuki had sat in this spot several times already; watching damn near the same chain of events play out.

So why was the sight of that graceful figure affecting her so much this time around? Was it just because their relationship had changed? Because they'd kissed a few times far outside of town?

It didn't make a lick of sense to her.

"Can I do anything?" she asked, both to offer and in the hopes of silencing the thoughts that were causing her hands to go slightly clammy.

"You can put on a pot of water," was the lilting reply, though the red eyes stayed focused on the food preparations.

Natsuki rose silently and padded closer, then crouched and opened the low cabinet where she remembered that Shizuru kept her pots. "How big?"

"One of the small ones is fine."

She lifted her gaze to give some sort of acknowledgment just as Shizuru turned to retrieve more supplies from the fridge, and found herself staring directly at a denim-clad backside. "Uh..." Her mouth worked soundlessly for several moments as sheer _heat_ flashed through her veins, and she had to swallow to ease her suddenly dry throat. "The, um... the five-litre one?"

A soft chuckle caressed her ears, and she watched as those damned hands skillfully sliced the knife through a stick of celery. "I think three should be sufficient."

"...right." She grabbed the pot in question and rose so fast that it almost made her light-headed. Those jeans, she remembered as she plonked the pot into the sink and turned on the tap, were the ones she'd agreed would look good on the other woman several months ago.

Her hand clenched around the tap handle after she shut the water off, and the trembling in her arm as she shifted now filled pot to the stove was in no way due to the slight weight of it.

Was this how she made Shizuru feel? This insane, abrupt weakness that had nothing do with physical stamina, and apparently everything to do with exactly how good those jeans really looked?

If that was the case, she considered as she took a few steps backwards to avoid being in the way, she suddenly had whole new level of respect for the other, former HiME.

The soft humming continued as Shizuru swept the now fully prepared vegetables into a sieve with one hand, and Natsuki watched as the older woman moved over to the stove and dipped the sieve into the boiling water, waited for a short amount of time and then lifted it once more.

"What are you doing?"

"Blanching the vegetables." The humming paused only while Shizuru spoke.

"Blanching?" she asked. Not that she cared about the intricacies of food preparation, but she was suddenly overcome with this strange need to have Shizuru talk to her. To acknowledge her presence.

_Look at me_, she pleaded silently.

"Yes." Shizuru turned the tap back on; dousing the gently steaming vegetables in what Natsuki presumed to be cold water. "That's where you briefly scald them in boiling water, and then cool them back down. Supposedly, it seals in the flavor so that when you do boil them properly, they won't turn into bland mush."

"Mm." She was staring, she knew, as she watched the loose, tawny hair brush against Shizuru's back and shoulders, and had to shove her hands deep into her pockets to keep from grabbing on to the golden strands.

_Look at me!_

"Is Natsuki alright?"

She wasn't entirely sure.

"Natsuki?"

Finally, Shizuru turned to face her – fair eyebrows lowered in a concerned little frown. But all Natsuki could focus on was how the wine-colored top clung to her body and emphasized her figure in all the most infuriating ways.

Gods. She bit down hard on her lower lip and shivered. She wanted to just grab her and... and what?

"Look at me." That tender voice wound around her heart again, and she raised her eyes to meet the curious, ruby-red gaze. "Is something the matter?"

"...no." _Yes._ "I'm fine."

Shizuru smiled softly. "Lying isn't one of Natsuki's finer skills."

She did have enough presence of mind to realize that she was being teased – gentle as it was – and managed to form a slight scowl in reply, which in turn caused a loving laugh that made her heart bounce around in her chest.

"_If you feel like doing something or want to ask something of me, do it."_

Oh, she did. Natsuki watched intently as Shizuru turned back around; one slender hand moving to brush the silky hair back. She just had to figure out what.

She licked dry lips as her gaze dropped to those jeans again.

"_...do it."_

Natsuki moved before she could give herself any more time to think about it, and the skin-warmed fabric scorched her palm as she grasped Shizuru by the shoulder and tugged.

"Natsu-?"

She cut off the question with her own lips. Briefly at first; just long enough to silence her companion, and to hear the sieve fall into the sink with a low clatter. Then their eyes were meeting, and she could feel Shizuru's breath against her face as she watched a faint, irrepressible glow of joy emerge in the crimson depths.

A hand slid through the hair at her temple, and the sensation of tender fingertips against her sensitive scalp made her shiver. There was a tug at the back of her head, and she closed her eyes and sighed as their mouths met again.

How was it, she wondered, that even in the depths of autumn, Shizuru could smell of spring?

Because she did. From the traces of apple and blossoming jasmine in the perfume that clung to her skin, to the mild citrus in her shampoo and the flowery scent of whatever lotion it was that she used to make her skin feel as soft as it did. Smooth and silky, like the lips that moved against her own. Warm like the gentle exhales that brushed over her own skin, and exuding what had to be the most powerful concentrate of safety in the world, because the closer Natsuki got, the closer she _wanted_ to get.

She felt Shizuru gasp as she pressed against her – enough to push the older woman back against the counter – and ran her hand from the one clasping her hip and up to Shizuru's shoulder. She used her teeth gently because it felt like the right thing to do, and was rewarded with a low, half-strangled moan that wound around her tongue and sent a shudder running along the length of her entire spine.

That made her stop. It was a sound that held so many different promises... made several somethings inside her shiver and tense up in ways that weren't entirely uncomfortable. _Desire_, she determined, as darkened eyes slid open to meet her own. Something she could identify, something she could _feel_...

But not something she was entirely ready to give in to. Yet.

She watched as Shizuru took a breath, then licked her lips and smiled.

"Could you find a pan for the meat?" came the soft request.

"Yeah." She turned back to the cabinet, dropped to her knees and started rooting around within – very much aware of the heat emanating from the warm body not two feet away.

Of the resumed humming over the sound of the boiling water, and the slight smile on Shizuru's face.

This whole 'dating' thing was confusing, Natsuki decided as she found a pan and settled it on an unused hotplate. Confusing, at times irritating and most of all downright frustrating.

Red eyes met her own as she rose once more, and she felt her face heat up as Shizuru leaned over to kiss her cheek.

But it was worth it.

xXxXx

"So..." Shizuru nibbled at a tomato wedge, and enjoyed the lack of stares in this secluded little spot they'd found some weeks ago. It was late November, and the chill in the air kept most people inside during the lunch period. "How long do you suspect it'll take for the rumors to begin?"

The warmly-dressed young woman sitting across from her snickered softly. "I think those rumors are at least 10 minutes old by now," Natsuki decided, capturing a bit of sausage between her chopsticks and waving it at her. "Probably spreading faster every second, knowing your fangirls."

"So distrustful," Shizuru teased, and chuckled as the younger woman stopped mid-bite and blinked at her with a slice of boiled egg hanging between her lips. "Who says it'll be by way of _my_ fangirls?"

"The fact that we walked hand-in-hand through the university campus and not the high school one?" Natsuki chewed her bite of egg and swallowed. "I'm pretty sure I don't even _have_ fangirls here." A slight shudder. "Yet, anyway."

"Ah, Natsuki's no fun."

"So you keep saying," the girl in question smirked. "Natsuki is, however, hungry." The dark head cocked as a clock dong'ed somewhere off in the distance. "And has class in 30 minutes. So could we eat?"

xXxXx

The door didn't slam. In fact, it closed with the same sound it always did when Shizuru was the one closing it. A soft, barely audible 'snick', followed by the patter of footsteps leading towards the elevator in the hall outside.

So why did every one of those oh-so-familiar noises feel like a punch in the gut?

"_Oh, knock it off," she'd growled. "With the amount of tea you drink, I can eat twice as much mayo without 'putting my health at risk' the way you do."_

_Red eyes had sent her a frustrated look. "Natsuki, tea doesn't have any unhealthy fat that can clog your arteries."_

"_Caffeine is just as bad!"_

It was such a stupid argument, too. Hell, she didn't even know why it had turned _into_ an argument – usually when they prodded at each other about their respective vices, it was done with gentleness, all in fun and even with love. Why had it spiraled out of control this time?

"_Dammit, Shizuru, no! If you get to nag me about my bad habits, I get to do the same to you!"_

"_Nag?!"_

Natsuki fell more than sat on the couch as she heard the sound of a car engine starting several stories below. What happened?

"_Please just leave."_

"_No." She'd held her ground stubbornly, and felt her jaw clench. "Not while things are like this."_

"_Fine." Silence, and Shizuru had stood and claimed her jacket. "Then I will. We both need to calm down."_

And now here she was; holding her head in her hands as she wondered what in the world she was supposed to do.

Going home wasn't an option – Mai would take one look at her and insist on an explanation until it worked, and she had none to give her right now. Going into the bedroom to wait was even less of one – it was bad enough that she was in Shizuru's apartment; she certainly wasn't about to go into the one area where the scent of everything that was _Shizuru_ was as concentrated as it could get.

Maybe she'd just wait here.

Natsuki curled up on the couch; claiming one of the soft throw pillows and letting the velvety fabric absorb the wetness on her cheeks.

No wonder love was referred to as a double-edged sword sometimes, she considered somewhere in the back of her mind as she pressed her face into the pillow and blocked out the pale, winter sunlight. This was a whole new level of pain, and she couldn't even do anything to heal the wounds, to ease away the ice-cold hands that were clawing at her insides until she was muffling her sobs in the softness that smelled like that woman who'd caused them. Not until Shizuru came back. Came home.

She just hoped it wouldn't take her too long.

Something warm and soft was on her lips all of a sudden, and she opened her eyes to a sudden blackness that was only alleviated by the faint light from the streetlamps below.

_I fell asleep?_

"I'm sorry." Crimson eyes turned almost chocolate in the darkness were looking into her own with an aching sadness that made her heart freeze up, and she felt the too-warm, salt-roughened skin shiver under her hand as she cupped Shizuru's cheek.

"I'm sorry, too," she whispered, and gently wiped at the moisture that still lined the red eyes. Shizuru hadn't even taken off her jacket. "Let's not do that again anytime soon, okay?"

A faint, trembling laugh answered her, and shaking, ice-cold hands slid over the material of her blouse as Shizuru pulled her in close. Natsuki didn't fight it; merely sliding her fingers gently into the cool, tawny hair and closing her eyes against the sledgehammer of emotion as she heard and felt the murmurs against the side of her neck.

Her own name, soft and tender – over and over, like a prayer for salvation.

They both held so much power over each other.

"Come here," she murmured as she wrapped her arms around the other woman in turn and pulled Shizuru onto the couch with her.

There really wasn't enough room for both of them, she realized. Not nearly enough.

"Natsuki..." The protest at their position was weak. "Let me up. I must be crushing you."

She tightened her hold as Shizuru moved to extract herself; pulling her down harder. True, she was feeling a little squished, but the closeness was something she desperately needed, and she wasn't about to give it up without a...

And the thought just stopped right there.

"No," she muttered against a suede-clad shoulder that smelled of frost, and felt Shizuru relax into their embrace at last. "You're perfect."

The strong, slender back under her hands started shaking gently, and she blinked rapidly as the icy tension in her guts finally eased.

_This... is perfect_.

xXxXx

"Fujino-san?"

The polite voice intruded on her musings as she stood in front of the main building of Fuuka University, and she turned to see a faintly familiar man smiling at her.

_Miyamoto Kenji_, her mind supplied as it matched a name to the admittedly handsome face. A senior studying politics, with no small amount of fans thanks to his high grades, his wealthy background and easygoing personality.

"I've heard so much about you, Fujino-san," he told her with a charming smile. "For a freshman, you're doing quite the job of impressing people."

And since he seemed to be trying to pick her up, his studious nature apparently didn't extend to campus gossip, Shizuru thought as she picked up the sound of a well-known engine and turned her head. Even from here, she got the distinct impression that Natsuki had determined what was going on.

And that she was about to interrupt with her usual fanfare.

_Ara_. She quirked one eyebrow, hardly listening to Miyamoto-san's words as she considered what was probably about to happen. _Forgive me_, she then silently thought at the figure beside her. _But I do love watching her do this_.

The intentions aimed at her stopped abruptly as the roar of the motorcycle got way too close for comfort, and Shizuru carefully bit the inside of her cheek as her erstwhile companion jumped at the squeal of tires and the sudden appearance of the massive bike and its leatherclad rider.

"Natsuki," she greeted warmly as the tinted visor was flipped up by one gloved hand. "So kind of you to give me a lift home."

"Doing what I want isn't a kindness," Natsuki retorted with a smirk that was more heard than seen, and then cut narrowed, green eyes to the non-plussed young man still standing there. "Who the hell are you?"

"Ah..." Her hopeful friend opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again with a click as the Ducati's powerful engine revved menacingly. "It's, um... n-not important."

"That's what I _thought._" Natsuki punctuated her words by twisting back the throttle and releasing the brake for a split-second – enough to send the motorcycle shooting forward by just a few inches, and the young man jumping backwards with a yelp.

Shizuru only barely managed to hold in her laughter until he was out of earshot.

"Seriously," the younger woman complained as she turned off the engine and dismounted. "Is he the last one on the entire campus to get the friggin' memo?"

"I think Natsuki managed to get her point across," she determined bemusedly. If there was one positive thing that had come from that horrible argument the previous month, it was how much more sensitive they'd grown to each other. The fact that Natsuki had apparently decided that she certainly wasn't going to let anyone _else_ get the chance of breaking them apart – to the point of becoming more demonstrative in public, even possessive at times – didn't hurt, either.

In fact, Shizuru considered as Natsuki removed her helmet and they kissed softly right there outside the main doors, it left her absolutely tickled pink.

"Hi," she murmured softly as they parted.

"Hi." Even, white teeth flashed into the cold air as Natsuki grinned crookedly. "And I hope so. You..." A fingertip touched her nose, and she smiled as a single, dark eyebrow arched. "...are _not_ up for grabs."

No, she silently agreed as she felt the mist of Natsuki's breath tickle her face. She certainly wasn't.

"Did you get the mayo you wanted?" she asked as she tugged on the extra helmet her companion had retrieved from the compartment beneath the seat.

"No." Natsuki cleared her throat. "I'm, ah... cutting back." A pause, where she found an extra set of gloves somewhere and passed them over. "I picked up some more decaf for you, though."

Shizuru smiled behind the visor and settled into her usual place; her arms winding around Natsuki's waist as she heard the engine roar to life.

Compromises.

xXxXx

"I _do_ have two controllers," Natsuki commented from her seat on the floor between Shizuru's knees. "You can play along and not just watch all the time."

"_Ookini_." Shizuru settled back into the couch and sent a soft breath across the rim of her teacup; studying how the bluish light from the large TV sent interesting shadows across the top and back of her companion's head. "But I like to watch Natsuki play with herself."

The game was paused,and she watched the dark head turn until she could see the single, neat eyebrow quirked at her in the low light.

"Y'know, I don't think I'da found anything even remotely dirty in that sentence until _after_ I started hanging around you." There was a soft tutting noise, and the game resumed as Natsuki turned back around. "You're a terrible influence."

She laughed softly at the observation – all the more amusing since it was undoubtedly true – and wound a lock of raven hair around one finger. "And what does Natsuki have against a healthy imagination?"

"Nothing," the younger woman drawled, and even if Shizuru couldn't see the faint grin, she could hear it. "Without it, where would my games come from?"

She shook her head and sipped her decaffeinated tea in silence, smiling at the soft, contented humming that she could faintly pick up below the noises from the game as she traced gentle patterns on the back of Natsuki's neck.

Slow, deliberate ones.

Shizuru bit her lip as she drew a series of very specific lines.

"Kay oh!" the TV cheered, and her hand was captured, pulled forward and kissed softly as the best moves from the previous battle rolled across the screen in slow motion.

"I love you too."

xXxXx

_I'll be there when the world stops turning  
I'll be there when the storm is through  
In the end I wanna be standing  
at the beginning with you_

**End Notes:**  
…-slash-challenge(?): The **marked **of the below songs directly inspired one scene each in this chapter. Can anyone point out _which_ scenes? Really, it shouldn't be too hard.

Writing music:

_Donna Lewis & Richard Marx – At the Beginning_  
_**Lifehouse – Hanging By a Moment**_  
_Michelle Branch – Tuesday Morning_  
_**U2 – Vertigo**_  
_Scorpions – You and I_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimers:**  
_Breathe_ is copyright to Faith Hill and... whoever manages her music. No profits for me. For the rest of the "no lawsuit plz" mumbo-jumbo, see chapter one.

**Warnings:**  
In case you hadn't noticed, the rating has been upped from T to M - you know what that means! If you don't, you're probably too young and/or innocent to be reading this in the first place.

**Author's Notes:**  
None, really. That's what I get for aiming my ramblings at my LJ instead. If anyone wants to keep up with them (read: 'has nothing better to do than study the strange and occasionally entertaining mental machinations of a 20-something nerd with a tendency towards foot-in-mouth-disease'), the link is at the low end of my profile.

Enjoy.

**Breathe**

* * *

_I can feel you breathe, it's washing over me  
and suddenly I'm melting into you  
There's nothing left to prove _  
_Baby, all we need is just to be_

xXxXx

It was a late evening in early spring. The air was steadily warming as the year progressed, but even for Fuuka it was still cold outside once dusk settled fully, and Shizuru could just barely see the breath in front of her face as she exhaled. The faint mist was emphasized by the yellowish light from the street lamps five stories below, and she tugged the warm robe closer around her body to ward off a tiny shiver.

Really, it didn't make very much sense for her to be standing out here, she considered – at least not to the casual observer. Not that it was making a terrible lot of sense to Shizuru herself, who currently was – once again – as aroused as she could ever remember being thanks to a very long, very pleasant stretch of time spent immersing herself in the taste of Natsuki's lips, the scent of her hair and the feel of her skin. An intoxicating mixture of sensory impressions, to be sure - red eyes cut to the half-open balcony door - and not something that in any way helped to explain why she had retreated to where she was at the moment.

The fair head shook, and Shizuru tried for the Nth time over the past few months to figure out exactly what it was that made her pull back from Natsuki's embrace once they reached a certain point. It certainly wasn't that she herself wasn't interested in pushing further, as her loudly complaining body was currently reminding her of. No, if she had to be honest with herself – which she at least tried to be – it probably had more to do with a subtle, yet very strong fear that she just couldn't shake; the fear of pushing the woman she loved so intensely into something that Natsuki just wasn't quite ready for.

She sighed another small cloud into the air. Natsuki had in many ways been an open book to her trained eyes over the years they'd known each other, at least as friends. And to be fair, she'd remained that way even after the two of them had embarked on a romantic relationship. The trouble was that with the change in the interactions between them, there came a whole host of new little signals and expressions that Shizuru simply hadn't yet learned to interpret. Most, yes. All, no.

She could remember the evening in her own kitchen; the first time Natsuki had kissed her out of the blue after they'd returned to everyday life – when she'd suddenly found herself pushed back against the counter with warm, tender lips on her own. In fact, she remembered it with crystal clarity since it had fast become one of her favorite memories; even if Natsuki had broken off the kiss rather abruptly.

Right after Shizuru had let out a moan – which was exactly when _she_ was now pulling away. Natsuki's breaking contact after a sound that was certainly closely related to eroticism in such a situation practically reeked of her not being ready. But, her mind prodded at her idly, that had been months back, and as far as she could recall, the younger woman hadn't been the one to end their little one-on-ones since the start of the year.

It was all a positively infuriating mix of wanting something so very, very much, and yet being terrified that the price of reaching for it would be more than she was willing to pay.

Warm, familiar arms sliding around her waist interrupted her train of thought, and she couldn't help but smile as Natsuki hugged her from behind, her thumbs hooking in the belt of Shizuru's robe and her lips pressing a gentle kiss between her shoulderblades.

"You're a very strange person," came the soft observation next to her ear, and Shizuru shivered slightly at the goosebumps the warm breath nursed to life on her skin.

"I know," she admitted, and turned so she could curl her arms around Natsuki in turn. The younger woman was, as always, a vision of loveliness, even with the long, black hair in disarray and clad only in the white tanktop and cotton shorts that she preferred to sleep in. "Forgive me?"

"Mm." The green eyes slid shut in contentment as Natsuki nestled against her, kissing the base of her throat lightly. "It's late," she murmured. "Come back inside."

"In a little while." Shizuru stroked the back of her fingers over one smooth cheek, then dipped her head to kiss her. "You go back to bed. I don't want you to catch a chill."

"Stubborn." Moist breath washed over her face at the good-natured grumble, and Shizuru closed her eyes as she felt slender fingers comb through the hair at her temple, then shuddered again at the gentle scrape of even teeth over her lower lip.

"Five more minutes." Natsuki tapped the tip of her nose once, then gave her another light kiss before turning and slipping back through the sliding door. "Don't make me come get you."

"I wont," she promised. The powder-blue fabric was shifting enticingly over a very shapely backside as Natsuki walked, and Shizuru found herself extremely tempted to curse at the fact that she could now start all over again in calming down. "I'll be right in."

One hand raised in acknowledgment from behind the glass door – five fingers extended – and then the younger woman slipped back into the bedroom and out of sight.

Shizuru leaned back against the railing and exhaled slowly. She dearly, _dearly_ wished that she knew how to interpret Natsuki's behavior without any second thoughts. There had definitely been a noticeable increase in assurance in how her companion had acted around her for the past, long while. Kisses and touches – both light ones and those of a more involved kind - were easily given, but was that a sign that Natsuki was wanting to take that final step? Or was it simply an indication of how comfortable she had grown with where their relationship was right now?

She crossed her arms against the chill, but remained where she was. The cold air felt good against her overheated body, and she still needed some time to think. Even if she had the distinct, irritating feeling that she wouldn't be able to truly clear any of this up on her own.

One only needed to stroll through the Fuuka Academy grounds once to pick up on what the general opinion on Kuga Natsuki was. _Cold, beautiful, distant, reticent _were words Shizuru herself had heard used about the younger woman more times than she could count, although those four and others were often sorted under a single headline: shy. Which in her opinion proved just how little the gossipers knew.

_Shy_ was one thing that Natsuki had never been. Or rather, Shizuru reiterated to herself, Natsuki was shy only when she found herself in a situation outside her realm of experience; which, at least up until about a year ago, had consisted mostly of fistfights, back-alley bars, revenge, and of course the perfect, unmitigated mess that had been the Carnival. She hadn't had the time to spend on developing friendships - let alone romantic relationships – for the better part of her life, and she'd admitted to Shizuru long ago that she was very much looking to her for guidance on this new and unfamiliar road, because she just flat out _did not know what to do_.

With every new moment they'd shared together, Natsuki's confidence and level of comfort had risen, and Shizuru was convinced that once they _did_ share that final, defining experience, that would only continue – which was one vote in favor of pushing forward. However, there was also the risk that if she pushed too far, too soon, Natsuki would retreat and they would have to retrace an unknown amount of time and steps to get back to the level they were at _now_. Which was one vote in favor of leaving things at the current status quo.

And this obstinate inability to find a single, clear answer was honestly starting to get on her nerves.

"Shizuru?" The call was muffled. Both, she supposed, by the half-closed balcony door and the slight distance from that door and to the bedroom. "Am I gonna have to drag you back in here?"

"Has it been five minutes already?"

"More like fifteen." There was a faint undercurrent of amusement in Natsuki's voice. "But I'm being lazy, so get in here and save me the trouble of getting up."

_Hm._ Shizuru tilted her head back and traced an idle, wistful pattern in the stars. Well, at least her heart wasn't pounding in her ears anymore.

She pushed away from the railing with a soundless sigh, and re-entered the warmth of the apartment before sliding the door shut behind her. For now, she decided as she studied the sliver of warm light that traced its way across the floor from the halfway-open bedroom door, she would just have to play it safe.

"Took you long enough," Natsuki muttered around a yawn as she entered the room, and Shizuru swallowed a chuckle at the sight of the younger woman hopelessly – and apparently quite contentedly - tangled up in one of the soft blankets where she was resting on the bed. "Turn off the light and tuck yourself in, will you?"

Wordlessly, she flipped the switch to the off position. She shed the heavy robe she'd donned before venturing outside; settling it on its designated hook by the door and wrapping her arms around herself as the cool, night air met the skin that her own sleepwear – a simple strap-top and a pair of panties – didn't cover. She walked around to the other side of the bed under the weight of Natsuki's gaze, and seated herself on the edge of the sheet. Her hand went to lift the covers, but a soft sigh stopped her.

"No." She turned her head and watched as a single, bare arm sneaked out from beneath the blanket; the hand patting the mattress directly next to Natsuki. "Here."

For some reason, her heart immediately relocated to her throat.

"Ara?" Suddenly uncertain – _again_ – she fell back on the familiarity of teasing. "Is Natsuki making indecent suggestions?"

The green eyes – strangely luminescent in the faint half-light coming from the streetlamps below – narrowed at her, and Shizuru had roughly half a second to quirk an eyebrow before she was grabbed by the waist and unceremoniously hauled across the bed. There was a brush of smooth skin on skin as a single, bare leg brushed along her own from calf to knee to gently and effectively hold her in place, and her vision was filled with deep, clear green.

"Haven't you noticed?" that dusky voice murmured as she felt a warm hand cup her face and a thumb slide over her lips in a soft caress. "Every time you touch me, it takes me longer and longer to make that noise."

Shizuru blinked.

"I figured out pretty fast that it was that sound that made you stop," Natsuki continued softly; green eyes boring into her own. "So I started holding it back as long as I could." A pause, and the thumb gently tugged her lower lip down; the tip slipping through the moisture beneath before gliding back across her mouth in a tantalizing touch that was soon replaced by the silky warmth of Natsuki's own. "I didn't want you to stop," was whispered against the corner of her lips, and something deep inside of her clenched in reaction as she felt, saw and heard the shift of skin and fabric.

From her new position astride Shizuru's hips, Natsuki straightened, trailing her hand slowly along the side of the older woman's throat as she did so. A single finger continued down the exposed skin on Shizuru's chest, dipping enticingly into the valley between her breasts before pulling away entirely to clasp her hand instead.

This, the prone figure beneath her decided fuzzily, was seduction. Slow, teasing, utterly spellbinding and frighteningly effective.

Shizuru watched as a fold of the blanket wrapped around Natsuki shifted, and bit her lip as she felt a thin sheen of sweat coat the back of her neck. There was still far less skin revealed than would be by the clothes underneath, but there was just something about the air Natsuki was exuding - the sheer, primal _need_ she awoke in her right now - that would have made Shizuru crumble at this temptress' feet if she so desired.

Like the sirens of legend, she considered, and watched in rapt fascination as one pale hand curled around the long, dark hair, pulling the silken strands over one shoulder with Natsuki's back arching ever so slightly at the motion. And she would happily crash against the treacherous rocks of any island – drown herself in the emerald sea of those eyes that stole the breath from her lungs – because Natsuki had barely touched her and already every nerve in her body was weeping in worship.

"Do you have any idea," the young woman wondered aloud as she brought the clasped hand to her own face and kissed the palm. "... how you make me feel?"

And Natsuki was definitely enjoying the power she held over her, Shizuru decided as she wordlessly shook her head in reply.

"Hm." Warm lips kissed her index finger, then nipped lightly at the tip and curved into a smirk at the trail of goosebumps that chased up her arm in reaction. "First of all, it drives me absolutely crazy when you hold yourself back." A shift of light and shadow, and Natsuki was hovering over her again, a single breath away; soft hands clasping her shoulders and pressing her back into the mattress with gentle strength. "Even if I know why."

"Do you?" she murmured, and played with the corner of blanket that hung over Natsuki's shoulder.

"Mmhm." One shoulder rolled sinuously, and the loose corner slid to the side and away, revealing nothing more than the smooth expanse of skin that covered Natsuki's shoulder. It definitely did _not_ reveal the creamy white strap of the young woman's tank top, and the sheer implication made a wave of burning, irresistible heat spread through her entire body.

"Shizuru." A finger beneath her chin that brought her eyes back to her companion's face, and a set of earnest, verdant eyes. "Don't worry so much. There's no test involved in this." Natsuki was so close now that she couldn't even see her lips move – could only let that voice wind around her heart and soul like a band of golden warmth while the words transported her back in time.

She could almost smell the rain.

"If you feel like doing something or want to ask something of me, do it." Natsuki's fingers caressed her face, and her gaze was utterly hypnotic. "I will _never_ tell you no, Shizuru. Ever."

"That's one hell of a promise to make," she choked out through her suddenly tight throat.

The slight crinkling at the corners of Natsuki's eyes was the only indication she could see of her smile. "It's one I made a long time ago."

Then she was arching against the hands that remained on her shoulders as those lips covered her own once more. The kiss was languid – unbearably so; Natsuki's mouth and tongue restraining her passion much like her touch restrained her body, and Shizuru felt her senses spin into overdrive. A low, frustrated groan was wrenched from deep in her throat as her hands clenched in the folds of the blanket; tugging, pulling and _yanking_ in what turned out to be a fruitless effort to bring their bodies together. Natsuki wasn't moving, though her lips continued to give, to take, to _tease_ so expertly that Shizuru's head was swimming. She'd fancied herself very familiar with the feeling of desire, and was only now realizing that she had honestly had no idea.

Not until this moment.

The kiss ended as suddenly as it had started, and her head fell back against the pillow from a height she hadn't even realized that she'd raised it to. Those green eyes were still so, _so_ close, and gained a very satisfied glint as Shizuru sucked air into her starving lungs. Every inch of her skin was alive, every last nerve in her body was buzzing, and she could feel her arms trembling from the effort she'd made to pull the younger woman closer.

"And that," Natsuki was now saying with more than a hint of amusement. "Is how I feel when _you_ stop."

If it was, Shizuru decided as she desperately tried to remember how to do something as simple as _speaking_, then Natsuki was deserving of far more respect than even she had accorded her previously.

"Really?" she finally managed to ask; husky and half-strangled as it was.

"Really." A fingertip traced the line of her jaw. "Recently, all it would've taken was one more touch..." A lingering caress along the shell of her ear that sent chills chasing down the side of her throat. "One more kiss, and..." Pause, and a blush she could make out even in the semi-darkness that surrounded them. "...yeah."

_Oh, dear Gods_. Shizuru's resolve to be patient had crumbled what seemed like eons ago under tender hands and lips, and now she felt the fine dust that remained of it be blown away by the hot, humid wind that was Natsuki's admission.

"So... since I apparently have to be explicit to get my point across..." A brush of lips against her own, so faint that the touch of them almost tickled, and the hand that Natsuki held was guided up along her thigh and onto her hip and _there was nothing but skin beneath the blanket_. "Touch me." A breath, and there was a whirlpool of determination with the slightest undercurrent of anxiety in those green, green eyes. "And this time... don't stop."

Irresistibly, she trailed her fingers over the smooth skin she was touching; her other hand shifting to dip curiously beneath the folds of fabric that still covered one of Natsuki's shoulders. "I won't hold back this time," she offered softly – still somewhat concerned, and thusly giving the younger woman another chance of opting out.

A low, alluring chuckle was the reply. "That's okay." A dark eyebrow raised almost challengingly. "Neither will I."

That, Shizuru decided as she curled a hand behind Natsuki's neck and tugged gently, really was all she needed to hear. Their lips brushed again; infinitely tender, and now there was a distinct lack of resistance in Natsuki's kiss. This time, when she pulled on the blanket, the warm form encased in it followed easily. Legs twined with her own, and Shizuru pressed her palm a little firmer against the naked hip under her hand when Natsuki sighed softly into her mouth.

"You planned this, didn't you?" she asked as she rolled them over; now peering down at the younger woman, and a crafty little grin chased itself across Natsuki's face so swiftly that Shizuru would have missed it entirely if she'd blinked.

"I like to plan things," was the non-committal reply; interrupted by a gasp as Shizuru's hand found a small gap in the blanket and traced a slow, torturous line on warm, silky skin. "You know that."

So she did, she acknowledged as she slowly and experimentally pulled at various parts of the soft, gray fabric that Natsuki had wrapped herself in. No wonder it had taken her 15 minutes rather than five to call Shizuru back inside. She'd clearly spent every second of that time ensuring that the material would unwind from her body exactly when Natsuki wanted it to, and not a second sooner. The complexity she'd achieved reminded Shizuru of a wooden puzzle box.

A soft laugh tickled her ears, as she glanced up from what was fast becoming one of the more frustrating puzzles in her life to meet Natsuki's gaze. The younger woman was looking more than just a little amused with the whole situation, but her eyes held a different emotion entirely, and it was that one that truly caught her attention.

Trust. Perfect, complete and absolute trust. In her, in them, and in what was about to happen.

"Here." Natsuki released the hold she had around her shoulders, and a single hand tugged lightly at a specific fold in the blanket. Her voice shook just a little as she spoke, and while there still was a hint of nervousness in her expression, the hands that then cupped Shizuru's face and drew it down were steady and certain in their touch.

Once again, Shizuru determined distractedly, there was something different about the kiss that the younger woman was oh so very effectively drawing her into. There was still no resistance – in fact, she could feel Natsuki arching against her as she brushed the first folds of the now easily-removable blanket away and found the satiny skin beneath. If anything, her lips were now moving with a definite hint of _in_sistence; like a sharp, clear tang of passion that mixed flawlessly with the minty taste of her toothpaste and the faintest hint of coffee from the cup she'd had some hours before.

The final corners fell away at last, and she registered Natsuki shifting, followed by the sensation of the soft fabric settling over both of them instead. There was nothing beneath her now aside from the gentle swell of soft curves, and Shizuru felt her companion suck in a sharp breath as she traced the outline of a breast. She shifted to taste the skin on Natsuki's jaw, and when she moved her attentions from there to the younger woman's throat, there was a swift movement and an abrupt, not-at-all uncomfortable pressure as smooth, bare legs curled around her hips and held on.

_Gods!_ The lower hem of her top had ridden up amidst their shuffling, and she almost collapsed outright as she felt the sheer heat that suddenly pressed against her exposed abdomen. Hands curled in her hair as she sucked feverishly on the nearest patch of exposed skin, and the low, guttural moan that Natsuki released vibrated against her lips and made her blood roar through her veins at a frightening pace.

_Beautiful_, her mind whispered as she pressed closer and flicked her thumb over a hardened nipple in exchange for a strangled groan. The dark hair was splayed out in lush waves against the white of the pillows and sheets, and Natsuki's skin fairly glowed in the low light. Her fingers were pressing into the small of Shizuru's back; the tendons in her neck standing out in vivid relief as her head was thrown back, and she took care to kiss them as she ran a slow touch down the side of the slender body beneath her own.

She was forced to pull back – just a little – to give herself the room that both of them wanted, and then there was slick, searingly hot flesh beneath her fingers, followed by the sound of Natsuki's breath hitching as she explored gently. There was a tiny nodule there that she recognized, and the dark head snapped to the side when she stroked a single finger over it. The green eyes were hooded – just barely open – but not so much that Shizuru couldn't recognize a glower when it was aimed at her.

"Don't tease," Natsuki ground out, and her voice cracked sharply when the slow swipe repeated itself. "Shizuru..."

Teasing was the furthest thing from her mind at the moment, though she could understand how Natsuki could see her curious study of how the younger woman reacted to what kind of touch as just that. Shizuru leaned down and pressed a soft kiss of apology to Natsuki's lips. She could always indulge herself later, after all.

The slender legs unwound from around her hips as her hand slid lower, and it almost felt as if her lungs contracted when she dipped cautiously into the source of the wetness that was drenching her hand. It was sheer, scorching _heat_ that met her touch; satiny smoothness that burned and clenched around her fingers as she slowly pushed deeper, wanting to let Natsuki become accustomed to the intrusion.

There was the sound of a growl, a hand covering her own, the sudden, determined shift of Natsuki's hips, and her heart stopped as the combination of irresistible force and immovable object caused her fingers to break through a barrier that she had never expected to encounter in the first place.

"Uhn..." Shizuru was so shocked that her entire body twitched, and the movement drew a soft groan of discomfort from the other woman. "...wait."

_Wait_. She was practically frozen in time at that single word, and her thoughts were whirling helplessly as she started to realize exactly what had just happened.

_Surely_, some part of her screamed_, that would have... with all the physical activity Natsuki had..._

But the tension – the mix of pleasure and pain that she could feel in the strong arms now both clinging to her neck and the faint, shaky exhales that brushed over her own skin... those were real. And suddenly, she had to blink back tears as the moment took on a whole new significance.

"Natsuki..." The name was a reverent whisper leaving her lips, and she guided the tightly strung body back onto the mattress; very carefully not moving her right arm even a fraction of an inch as she settled the younger woman against the pillow and kissed the tightly closed eyelids. The emotion was threatening to overwhelm her, she realized as she tenderly pushed the obsidian hair away from the damp forehead, and while a large part of her wanted to express some sort of gratitude for the gift that Natsuki had just granted her, she somehow doubted that now was the right time.

"It's alright," she instead promised quietly; nuzzling a warm cheek and feeling the hold on her own shoulders loosen slightly. "I'm sorry if I hurt you," she murmured against those soft lips as she kissed them, too.

"...idiot," was the familiar reply, and she felt the mouth beneath her own curl into a faint smile as she chuckled in response. The hands that had clenched so tightly in the back of her top released their hold, and instead slid over the skin on her shoulders in a gentle caress as they kissed.

Shizuru was even more cautious now. The one hand that she allowed herself to move cupped Natsuki's face, and she kept the contact between them light – the barest brush of lips on lips – until the touch on her shoulders was pulling her in; until Natsuki's kisses grew firmer and her breathing shallow. It was positively intoxicating, she considered, how it felt to have the younger woman press so impossibly close; to have her skin move sinuously against her own and to hear the soft, approving moan as she finally shifted her fingers.

"Stop being so damn careful," Natsuki was whispering against her mouth; her words rushed and almost feverish. "I won't break."

_Trust her_, something inside of her intoned as she watched the green eyes cloud over with need, and Shizuru dipped her head and captured those lips fully as she thrust in harder; swallowing the hoarse cry that met her efforts. Blunt, short nails caught in the thin fabric that covered her back as they moved together, drank from each other, and the silken heat around her digits grew even more scorching with every second until Natsuki was wrenching her mouth away and burying her face in her shoulder. Teeth scraped over her skin and then caught, and Shizuru felt her insides clench in sympathy at the raw, shuddering sobs of relief expelled against the side of her neck and the twitching, slow scrape of nails along the length of her back.

She pressed her face into the damp, dark hair and placed a kiss there, and felt the trembling body in her arms hold her tightly in response.

Perfection.

xXxXx

A lone, pale stripe of early-morning sunlight laid claim to a patch of smooth, unblemished skin, and Shizuru sent the twisted blind that had caused it a glance over one shoulder. Not a long one, as it wasn't much of a problem – one that would be easily enough fixed, in fact, once she was actually willing to move from her current position. Judging by the amount of sleep she'd gotten, however, she considered as she turned her attention back to the object of her study, that probably wouldn't be anytime soon.

Less than half a foot to her right, Kuga Natsuki slept like a log; lying on her front with her arms curled beneath the pillow, naked as the day she was born and truly dead to the surrounding world. It was a scene which Shizuru had memorized several times and at several different levels of light during the silent vigil she'd kept throughout the night; unable as she had been to sleep. Not for negative reasons, as had sometimes been the case in the past – in fact, exactly the opposite.

She watched her own fingers draw slow, idle patterns on the small of Natsuki's back, and didn't even try to fight the giddy little smile playing at her lips. A single night could truly make a lifetime's worth of a difference. Yesterday, she'd certainly been happy; if also undecided and not just a little confused. Today, she was practically ecstatic, but in a strange, almost lazy way that made her not want to move a single inch from this spot.

Shizuru turned onto her back and tucked a corner of the blanket covering her – the same one from the night before, in fact – against her cheek with a happy sigh. She'd long kept a sort of mental library, consisting of little snapshots she'd taken of the favorite moments she'd shared with Natsuki. Those moments had soon built up to an overwhelmingly large amount, and, she remembered as she closed her eyes, she'd started sorting them into folders shortly thereafter. _Blushes_ was a folder she enjoyed revisiting often, as well as_ Scowls_ and _Pouts_. By the time they'd actually started dating, she'd created a few new folders that she'd named _Romance_ and _Passion_ respectively. And now, she realized with a pleasant, little shiver, she'd have to add a subfolder to one of them labeled _Lovemaking_.

_Gods._ The thought made her eyes pop open. _I have a lover_. Her gaze cut to the somnolent figure close by. _And the most beautiful one possible, too._

The red eyes slid shut again as a gentle, contented smile took over her lips. She wasn't even going to wonder how she had rated that. The both of them had gone through an absolute hell – both figuratively and literally – to get to this point. If this was what the universe was going to give them as a reward for their hardships, then Shizuru was quite happy to just take it and be grateful.

"Hey." The voice jolted her out of her musings, and she focused on the sleepy, halfway-open green eyes that had settled on her face in warm affection.

"Good morning," she replied, running her fingers along her _lover's_ spine and smiling at the hum the action evoked. "Sleep well?"

"Mm." Natsuki freed her arms from beneath the pillow and pressed her hands against the headboard as she stretched. Then she propped her chin on one, curled arm, and quirked an eyebrow. "You didn't sleep a wink, didja?"

"Whatever makes Natsuki think that?" she wondered innocently, and grinned outright as the green eyes rolled.

"Yeah, you definitely never fell asleep," Natsuki scoffed. "You're way too hyper. Plus, even for you, it's too early to be awake at..." she cut her eyes to the bedside clock. "5:22 in the morning."

"Natsuki's awake, too," she pointed out, and didn't bother to suppress a giggle at the dour look that earned her.

"Mmph." A glare, followed by a sigh, and then Natsuki was scooting under the blanket next to her. "Share," she demanded grumpily as an arm slung itself across Shizuru's waist and the dark head found a comfortable spot to rest on her shoulder. "And yeah, I am." A yawn. "Heck if I know why."

She curled an arm around Natsuki's shoulders and enjoyed the feeling of gentle fingertips trailing lazily over the curve of her hip as she closed her own eyes. Perhaps, she considered, the lack of close, physical contact was part of the reason that she hadn't slept? Certainly, now that they were curled up together, she could feel a pleasant weariness settle through her entire body – enough that she had to suppress a yawn of her own.

"Hm." She felt Natsuki lift her head, followed by a dip of the mattress and the touch of cool, smooth fingers against the skin on her left shoulder. "Oh... I'm sorry about this."

"About what?" she wondered, aware that her accent was deepening due to the sudden influx of fatigue.

Silence for a few seconds, and she cracked an eye open to see an expression on Natsuki's face that was an interesting mix of pride and embarrassment. "About this... blotch. Here." The younger woman fished a small mirror from a drawer in the bedside table and held it out.

Curiously, Shizuru took it... and felt her eyes widen at the mottled bruise at the crook of her neck. It was bright purple with splashes of fiery red and royal blue, and about the size of a tennis ball. "Ara." She tilted the mirror to the left, then to the right. "My, Natsuki does a thorough job." A pause. "The teeth marks are a nice touch."

Two fingers pinched her side in reproach, and once she'd forced down the instinctive urge to squeal, she shifted her gaze to see green eyes scowl at her from above bright red cheeks. "Watch it," Natsuki growled. "Or I'll give you one to match on the other side."

"...you do realize that if you're attempting to discourage me, you should probably do so by threatening to do something I _didn't_ enjoy so thoroughly the last time it occurred?"

"Keep it up, Fujino, and you'll be going to school with hickeys _everywhere._" Pause. "And no additional experience with the stuff that causes them. Got it?"

"_Ikezu_."

She watched a smile play at Natsuki's lips at the minor victory, and almost purred as soft lips then touched themselves to the sole hickey she had at the moment.

"Shizuru..." Natsuki's breath was tantalizingly hot against the flesh on the side of her throat, and suddenly the feeling of the warm, bare body pressing against her side was rapidly brushing away the side-effects of her lack of sleep. "It's Sunday." A nip to the bruised spot of skin, and the voice that tickled her ear had deepened as Natsuki presumably also remembered the events of the previous evening. "Do you have anything important to do today?"

"No." She cupped a warm cheek and brought Natsuki's face up so that she could kiss her, before the feeling of familiar hands in new territory made her lose the ability to think entirely.

Nothing could possibly be more important than this.

xXxXx

_Caught up in the touch, slow and steady rush  
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be?  
I can feel you breathe_

xXxXx

- END


End file.
